The thing that hurts the most is that I'm reminded of us every day. There are artifacts of us all over my room as well as memories of the times we shared all over town. Whenever I see a street corner or a place, all I can think about were the times we shared together.

I've been talking to friends and they've given me advice on where to take my life from here. A lot of them present the same case - that there's plenty of other girls out there, and that tomorrow's another day full of new possibilities if I'm willing to take them.

But still, the concept of love is painful to think about for me right now. I know I'm just naive, but you become so vulnerable to someone. You let your guard down and share all of your emotions and all of your feelings. You are rewarded with a sense of companionship and belonging. All of this is complemented by feelings of euphoria, creating the moments you cherish while you're together - the kind you never want to feel slip away when it's done.

The whole time, I had felt that we were perfect for each other.

When it was over, she had told me she needed time to think, reassess, and re-evaluate her own problems in life. That someday we'd be together if I would forgive her for her mistakes. And that she would try to become a better person after this, because she had felt that I deserved better from a girlfriend. I know deep down that this means that she just wants to let me off lightly to avoid breaking my heart as she finds another. One of the primary reasons we didn't last was because she missed having someone to hold every day - a phone call was never enough. We were a long distance couple, so we were doomed from the start. Part of me feels that I shouldn't have let her go at the airport, despite the fact that she didn't want to leave me. Now the feelings of regret start to sink in.

I had pretty much dedicated every waking moment of my life to her. Everyone is telling me that I should reclaim my life and move on. But after everything that's happened, I'm afraid of doing so. I don't want to go back to my life, even if it is unavoidable. But I can't delude myself into thinking otherwise.

I just don't want to become so jaded by the feeling of heartache that I start to approach everything with a stone heart.