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tell me again
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Posted at 9:04 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| Easy for you to say. Can they undo the past? They can provide a peace of mind if she decides that this is important to her, but she's already decided against that. (Not to rule out this option, OP) Anyway I won't divert the thread further. |
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I heart nubs
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Posted at 8:54 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
Quote: from tell me again at 8:53 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from I heart nubs at 8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from Aliboo at 8:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Why dont you let someone help you?
It's too late to do anything. It happened too long ago. 
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities. 
Yeah? Because authority action will fix her problems? It's a good thing that she has enough trust to tell her cousin and hopefully it was of some help to say so. If she doesn't want extra stress, punishing the rapist will do fuck all for her. 
The authorites can do more than anyone else... |
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tell me again
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Posted at 8:53 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
Quote: from I heart nubs at 8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from Aliboo at 8:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Why dont you let someone help you?
It's too late to do anything. It happened too long ago. 
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities. 
Yeah? Because authority action will fix her problems? It's a good thing that she has enough trust to tell her cousin and hopefully it was of some help to say so. If she doesn't want extra stress, punishing the rapist will do fuck all for her. |
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I heart nubs
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Posted at 8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from Aliboo at 8:42 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Why dont you let someone help you?
It's too late to do anything. It happened too long ago. 
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities. |
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tell me again
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Posted at 8:35 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| I agree with hithere. Remind him that it's a really important thing for you that he keeps it to himself. It might also help to explain to him why it wouldn't be a good idea to tell anyone. I'm just taking your word that you've thought about this and that you think keeping this secret is worthwhile. I know that some things are better kept quiet, but I hope you do have a way to deal with it (if you aren't going to seek other support). |
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hithere
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Posted at 5:37 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| He might break his promise, but if he was able to promise that to you in that moment of (likely) anger, then I think you don't have to worry. But you never know. The main thing is, you already told him and you can't change that. You'll have to trust him. But if you really think he might tell somebody, remind him how important it is that he keeps it to himself. I hope it turns out okay for you, you were brave to tell him about it. Stay strong. |
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MixedDelight
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Posted at 2:20 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| There's a chance that he'll do something. He might have promised you he wouldn't, but you can imagine how pissed he would be feeling knowing one of his friends raped his cousin. I know I'd be livid. If anything, he might just beat the crap out of the assailant. Which is really something he deserves, and if that guy goes to court to complain, your cousin can just bring up the fact that this guy raped you. Why didn't you get a rape kit done at the time? :s If you don't mind my asking. |
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The Last Magister
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Posted at 2:16 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 |
Quote: from wolverineh8ter at 7:46 am on Nov. 12, 2008
Livewire doesn't let me say what I would do if someone did that to my little cousin... If he said he wasn't going to do it, I guess you just have to trust his word. Though if an issue between the two of them arises later, I would be pretty sure that it would come up. 
This. Or he won't wait. |
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Hi Carie
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Posted at 9:56 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| You can only trust him I suppose. Keep talking to him about it, make sure that he knows that you don't want him to act. I can only imagine it is overwhelming information for him, and you should give him time to calm down. This would be a very hard thing for anyone to deal with, and I am sure he just needs a little bit of space to sort out his feelings and be ok with not doing anything. |
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MiNNiCK
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Posted at 6:31 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| I'm quite sure he's aware that it happened forever ago, however you have to realize if you two are close...something of that nature is going to upset him. I can't say for sure from that message if he will do anything or not, but I can say he probably wouldn't call the cops. He'll probably just beat the fuck out of him. Which in all honesty, if I were you, I wouldn't care if he beat up my rapist. That isn't acceptable to do and he deserves to get what's coming to him. However, if you feel that your cousin shouldn't take that action, try talking to him person this time...see his facial expression and explain to him why or why not you feel he shouldn't beat him up or say anything. It will be sincere. I know it'll be hard, but you can't let it eat at you anymore. He seems like he'd be supporting you to feel better about the situation...so go for that route. Try to let him see how it will effect you should he do anything weird. Just let him listen to your side and then maybe he'll explain why he wants to do it...it'll be good for both you. Words on a screen can be misunderstood or not emotional enough for a clear understanding. Be brave, talk to your cousin face to face about this since you've already told him. |
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Lydia Lenore
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Posted at 6:27 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| rape isn't something that just blows over. He needs to say something. |
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La Motta
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Posted at 6:02 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| Hopefully he'll do some damage! |
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Sins and Demons
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Posted at 5:50 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| Pretty sure there is no time limit for say anything on rape just like murder. If there is a time limit its far longer than the time that has gone by. |
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Thanantos
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Posted at 5:48 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| i was raped when i was 3-5 years old every day for two years talk about pain he was 19 and i was 3 4 5 years old |
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Wolf
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Posted at 5:46 am on Nov. 12, 2008 |
| Livewire doesn't let me say what I would do if someone did that to my little cousin... If he said he wasn't going to do it, I guess you just have to trust his word. Though if an issue between the two of them arises later, I would be pretty sure that it would come up. |
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