Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Aren't you supposed to be proving I can trust you? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]Enishi[/m] at 9:05 pm on Nov. 20, 2008[quote]Read the whole thing, I think that she really does appreciate you but she just can't keep her trap shut, she doesn't mean any harm, I have friends like that. You just gotta understand them, you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Tr0uble89 Posted at 8:48 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Alright - so after the whole weekend fall out with my "friend", She vowed she was going to prove to me I could trust her. I didn't see her until the other day when she offered to take me out for breakfast (and pay for it), and then take me job hunting. (to me.. that's sucking up.. that doesn't prove I can trust her) Then she said later that if I hadn't come out she was going to send me "I'm sorry" flowers. Anyways, I had told her something.. when it was just me and her - for a specific reason. It only involved her, and nobody else.  Later on she repeated what I said in front of her boyfriend (the guy who happened to be the reason for the falling out). I held it in, and finally when we dropped him off I snapped, I looked at her and told her.. "When you mentioned that in front of him earlier - that pissed me off because if I wanted him to fucking know, I would have said it in front of him too, and you went and told him anyways" - which to me.. is another betrayal of trust. I had also told her how he got mad at me for something - and only brought it up when she wasn't around, and she insisted she mention it to him, I insisted she didn't because the reason was so pitiful it wasn't even worth the argument, headache or fight. Again, she betrayed my trust by bringing it up anyways. She doesn't seem to grasp the concept of proving that I can trust her.   Her and I were also sitting at her house, and I was talking to a guy I had gone on a date with, and she keep telling me I should bring him over on the weekend.. I told her no repeatedly. Then it got awkward and quiet.. and she said "Lichelle, I really want things to be okay with us, I know it's not going to happen, and I don't want to lose you completely. I know you don't trust me, I want to prove it to you. I'm sorry - but I really want things to be okay", All I said was "Okay. It'll come.. Just not right now. I still don't trust you."  Honestly.. I don't care how bad she wants things to be okay - it's not going to be. I need proof that she is loyal, proof that she is the friend she claims to be.  But - her continuously and repeatedly betraying my trust - is NOT helping her situation.   I can stay mad forever, I can hold a grudge. I'm not holding a grudge just because - I'm holding it because I need to. If I just trust her automatically again - it shows I'm a push over.. and I'm not. I believe my friendship is worth a little more, and I think she should probably appreciate me a bit more.

Replies Monroe Posted at 6:33 pm on Nov. 22, 2008 If she can't keep things said in private, IN private, then what friend is she? But, also, maybe she thinks that opening her mouth will help things in some way? I can't really tell because I don't know her. I'd just advise not to tell her things that you don't want told. Let her know that you don't trust her, and that you don't want to tell her anything, in fear of her opening her mouth, regardless. Don't be mean to her, or yell at her, just...simply, don't tell her things. Oh, and if she tries to "suck up" again, don't let her. Even though, it may be nice, don't use your friend like that. Just talk to her, and set it all out on the table. Let her know that she needs to keep her mouth shut about things, regardless of what she thinks, if you want those things said to be kept in private. If she continues to say things, and to do things that aren't very best-friend-like, then I'd just tell her that you two can't continue a friendship. I'm sorry, though, I know how it is to have friends that don't know how to keep their mouths shut. :/ Catacomb Posted at 11:50 am on Nov. 22, 2008 was this the same friend in the other post kaylar28 Posted at 9:23 am on Nov. 22, 2008 id say walk away from her i think the reason why she keeps doing this is thinking that she cant actually lose you since your giving her other chances if you walk away and she notices that she can actually lose you, if shes a true friend she will smarten up getarhythm Posted at 11:45 pm on Nov. 21, 2008 My best friend and also my roommate was like that.  Except I think it was much worse.  I had done so much for him when all of his friends abandoned him.  He was a wreck, applied to new schools and everything.  I got him to stay, and he eventually made up with his friends.  They're all d'bags, though.  Talking shit about me behind my back, spreading false rumors (completely idiotic ones, too).. I realized that I was miserable living there and with my group of friends in general.  So I left my group that I spent 3 years building friendships with and started commuting to school.  I'm much happier and I've made a lot more friends. Honestly, if you feel like that, then just leave her.  If you don't think she's going to come around, or if you really truly feel that you can't trust her anymore and that even time won't heel it, then just do yourself a favor and walk away right now.  Why have that extra stress when you can be enjoying yourself?  I contemplated keeping my friends for a few months and finally just said "fuck it" and left.  From what I could get out of that, you don't seem to be enjoying yourself when you hang out with her.  If it were me, I would make a decision right now, and that would be: 1.) Tell her exactly what you told us, and make sure she listens to all of it. Then give her a second chance. 2.) Don't be friends with her anymore. Tr0uble89 Posted at 9:07 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Quote: from Enishi at 9:05 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Read the whole thing, I think that she really does appreciate you but she just can't keep her trap shut, she doesn't mean any harm, I have friends like that. You just gotta understand them, you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed. I hate to say it, but if it keeps happening - I don't want very much to do with her, sure maybe once a week or something.. but I can't stand that. Enishi Posted at 9:05 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Read the whole thing, I think that she really does appreciate you but she just can't keep her trap shut, she doesn't mean any harm, I have friends like that. You just gotta understand them, you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed. Savior Posted at 8:50 pm on Nov. 20, 2008 Post from this position was omitted due to content violations All 7 previous replies displayed.