Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Divorced parents, me geting put in the middle. Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]TruexZero[/m] at 4:27 pm on Nov. 23, 2008[quote]Divorces are really lame. My dad didn't push for visitation rights because he didn't want something like this to happen.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post guitar freak Posted at 4:19 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 My mom and dad are devorced. I go to Illinois, where my dad lives every summer vacation for 6 weeks, and over christmas break for about a week. During the chirstmas break, I have always gone there on the 26th. Its in the court papers to do so. My dad wants me to fly out to Illinois on the 24th, because of plane ticket prices I think. My mom refused. My dad is now taking my mom to court. My mom is now pressureing me to go to court a say that I would rather spend christmas in Las vegas, where my mom lives. I told her that I dont want to miss school, have them spend extra money for a plane ticket, for me to say one sentance that might not even make a diffrence. Either way, im sure the court will come to a decision for me to spend every other christmas at my dads hosue. Well, when I refuse to go to court, my mom says I dont care, goes on and on. She is guilt tripping me. And it worked. I told her i would go. She then calls my dad and starts stuff, tells me to talk to him. I break down in tears and tell my dad what is going on. He talks to me, calms me down. But now my mom is really upset with me, and I dont know what to do.

Replies guitar freak Posted at 10:07 pm on Nov. 26, 2008 Quote: from amiee at 12:30 pm on Nov. 25, 2008 Oh bummer, I was hoping it was be simple but then I guess these things never are =\ I suppose (and this isn't the greatest conclusion to come to, I know) that perhaps you just have to go along and do what you want to do. If it makes more sense for you to visit your dad a little earlier this year or if you're happier, or at least content, with spending every other Christmas at your dad's then you have to do it and your mum will have deal with it, y'know? I know it's not the most ideal solution at all but if you've tried talking to her then all she can do is learn to live with this stuff. It's horrible and it's difficult and it can really hurt to know one parent is upset with you but she's the one (and your dad too, if he takes part in any of this) that has the problem and it's up to her to make that decision to start accepting things the way they are. I wish there was an easier, and better, solution. Divorce is so hard, but I really do hope it works out for you. And that, in time (maybe that's all it needs? who knows), your parents will come to terms with how things have to be now. my dad is completely understanding and nice about this whole thing. my mom hasnt talked to me for days unless its to yell at me. Tonight she told me taht shes affraid to live in the same house as me, because im a back stabber. amiee Posted at 12:30 pm on Nov. 25, 2008 Oh bummer, I was hoping it was be simple but then I guess these things never are =\ I suppose (and this isn't the greatest conclusion to come to, I know) that perhaps you just have to go along and do what you want to do. If it makes more sense for you to visit your dad a little earlier this year or if you're happier, or at least content, with spending every other Christmas at your dad's then you have to do it and your mum will have deal with it, y'know? I know it's not the most ideal solution at all but if you've tried talking to her then all she can do is learn to live with this stuff. It's horrible and it's difficult and it can really hurt to know one parent is upset with you but she's the one (and your dad too, if he takes part in any of this) that has the problem and it's up to her to make that decision to start accepting things the way they are. I wish there was an easier, and better, solution. Divorce is so hard, but I really do hope it works out for you. And that, in time (maybe that's all it needs? who knows), your parents will come to terms with how things have to be now. guitar freak Posted at 4:31 pm on Nov. 24, 2008 Quote: from amiee at 9:59 am on Nov. 24, 2008 How possible do you think it'd be to talk to your mum about this? I mean, she's using you and your emotions to get what she wants and it's really, really not fair that she's doing that to you. Divorce is hard enough without your parents making you choose sides and using you to get back at the other parents. She needs to know that she can't do that to you, y'know? Do you think she would listen to you if you sat her down and explained how all of this has made you feel? (or write a letter if you'd feel more comfortable/confident doing that). You don't have to argue with her and all that - explain how all of this has made you feel pressured and by doing the whole guilt trip when she doesn't get what she wants is making it worse. This is your life and no one should be allowed to make you feel this way, not even your parents. Maybe your mum just needs a wee something to show her that she's putting you in the middle? She may have done it without even realising, y'know? If that doesn't work, you could try having a chat with your dad and asking him to talk to your mum to see if they can come to some sort of agreement without putting you in the middle. That's the most important thing and they need to know that they can't do that to you. Do you think they'd listen? I have talked to my mom....many times... amiee Posted at 9:59 am on Nov. 24, 2008 How possible do you think it'd be to talk to your mum about this? I mean, she's using you and your emotions to get what she wants and it's really, really not fair that she's doing that to you. Divorce is hard enough without your parents making you choose sides and using you to get back at the other parents. She needs to know that she can't do that to you, y'know? Do you think she would listen to you if you sat her down and explained how all of this has made you feel? (or write a letter if you'd feel more comfortable/confident doing that). You don't have to argue with her and all that - explain how all of this has made you feel pressured and by doing the whole guilt trip when she doesn't get what she wants is making it worse. This is your life and no one should be allowed to make you feel this way, not even your parents. Maybe your mum just needs a wee something to show her that she's putting you in the middle? She may have done it without even realising, y'know? If that doesn't work, you could try having a chat with your dad and asking him to talk to your mum to see if they can come to some sort of agreement without putting you in the middle. That's the most important thing and they need to know that they can't do that to you. Do you think they'd listen? TruexZero Posted at 4:27 pm on Nov. 23, 2008 Divorces are really lame. My dad didn't push for visitation rights because he didn't want something like this to happen. All 5 previous replies displayed.