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Topic What is wrong with my friends?
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Original Post
Chava Posted at 12:47 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
I have three main friends that I used to hang out with all of the time. Samantha, Sara, and Jessica. Well lately I've been spending more time trying to get them to behave like adults than I have hanging out with them and having fun like we used to. I'll start with Samantha since she's more fresh in my mind right now.

Samantha has a two year old little girl whom she treats like shit. Pure shit. The little girl the was over at our place the other day and wanted to get in the stroller with my son. She wouldn't fit so we told her no. Well, she's two. She kept asking. I think she asked twice before Samantha said, "You say it one more time and I'm going to punch you in your fucking face.". Now I'm 19 with a child too and understand the frustration of a child nagging at you constantly but not what she did next. The little girl asked again and Samantha with all her gusto walloped her two year old across the face. If she hadn't been standing near the wall (on which her head ricocheted) I swear she would have been knocked over. She told her boyfriend (who's not the child's father) that the little girl had said fuck and thats why she had slapped her. Even if that was the case she's two. She repeats things adults say so it would have been her fault. Either way there's no reason to slap a child like that.

On to Jessica. She treats her child slightly better than Samantha but still not well. She cuses at her little boy (who is six months older than my one year old) slaps him on the hand and butt for every little offense. I mean he stepped onto our stairs platform (about 4 inches above the ground) and she spanked him for it. It wasn't even the stairs and my son was playing there. Then he fell (not from the platform just in the middle of our hardwood floor) and started crying. Jessica's response? Throwing a bottle at the toddlers head leaving a welt. Her mom has told me that she's noticed marks on the little boy and asked if I thought she was abusing him. I told her definately yes. Then Jessica tells me that she wants me to leave my fiance' and child's father for her! Not only is she not the next Miss America (as understated as possible) how could I let her near my son for any length of time acting like she does towards her own child!

Now Sara. Sara is sick. She has cystic fibrosis which affects both the lungs and digestive system. So for a while she was smoking weed all of the time and drinking, not taking her medications, and working 70 hours a week. All of which affect her disease negatively. Then a little after her 19th birthday, in which we all got wasted, she finds out that she's pregnant. Not only could it kill her to be pregnant because her disease is so rare but she was drinking the week before to the point of puking. The guy who's the father of her child is the one who got her started drinking and smoking. So now she's complaining at 8 months pregnant that he's not there for her and wants to drink and smoke weed all of the time. We all told her he wasn't going to take a child seriously and I doubt when the child is born he'll stick around. I would bet all of my income on it. I doubt she'll stay off of drugs and she's a horrible mess. She stayed with us for a month and we found nothing less than roaches in her room. It was disgusting.

Now the great part. All of them are trying to tell me I should punish my child more for crying because whenever they're around they can't deal with it because they just slap their children across the face and they learn not to cry. Sara is always trying to get me to go with other men just because she has about four guys she goes between even when she first found out she was pregnant. I don't know is she knows for sure who the real father is. I think it's just hoping right now. I mean seriously why would I take advice from people who are so fucked up and where do they get off telling anyone how to deal with children or relationships.

Replies
lisababyyy Posted at 1:02 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
wow not to be rude but i think your friends need some counselling
Chava Posted at 12:59 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
Quote: from rickyspeople at 3:54 pm on Dec. 1, 2008

it seems as if none of your friends were ready to become parents, since their behaviour is done for their benefit, not the childrens.  

 
it's a touchy situation, people don't take kindly to others telling them how to parent. but if you try and sit them down, and tell them in a way that isn't completely condescending maybe it would help. just try and get them to understand that you love them, and it upsets and scares you to see them raising their children how they are, when you KNOW they could be loving, terriifc parents.


That's the problem every single one of them is more concerned about themselves and the welfare they're getting (that makes their lives easier) than their children. I mean Samantha was 16 living on the streets when she got pregnant. The baby gave her insurance, emancipation, and a free place to live. She's never even had a job. And Jessica is so (for lack of a better word) ghetto. I mean she's talking about how children need smacked more often and she's going to make an example of her son. Her son's going to go to public schools because private teaches them how to be prats (this was after a discussion in which I told her I'm either homeschooling my son or sending him to private schools.). They can't put aside their teenage lives long enough to see that their children are suffereing. That and they use it to get revenge on their babies fathers. None of which have stuck around or paid anything.
They don't need to have their children. And I feel so sorry for them because they treat them like adults when they're not even fully toddlers.

rickyspeople Posted at 12:54 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
it seems as if none of your friends were ready to become parents, since their behaviour is done for their benefit, not the childrens.


it's a touchy situation, people don't take kindly to others telling them how to parent. but if you try and sit them down, and tell them in a way  that isn't completely condescending maybe it would help. just try and get them to understand that you love them, and it upsets and scares you to see them raising their children how they are, when you KNOW they could be loving, terriifc parents.

Jman19 Posted at 12:53 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
Quote: from Chava at 9:50 am on Dec. 2, 2008

Quote: from Jman19 at 3:49 pm on Dec. 1, 2008

You all have kids?

 Sounds like your 'friends' are abusive mothers. Child services should be called if it's really as bad as you describe.


One of them is being investigated right now actually. I think she's going to lose her child Monday or sometime next week.


Good. Do not let them influence you or tell you how to raise your child. They have no idea what they are talking about, and I feel sorry for their (future) kids.

Teenie1 Posted at 12:52 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
erm..They seem nice :|
Chava Posted at 12:50 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
Quote: from Jman19 at 3:49 pm on Dec. 1, 2008

You all have kids?  

Sounds like your 'friends' are abusive mothers. Child services should be called if it's really as bad as you describe.


One of them is being investigated right now actually. I think she's going to lose her child Monday or sometime next week.

Jman19 Posted at 12:49 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
You all have kids?

Sounds like your 'friends' are abusive mothers. Child services should be called if it's really as bad as you describe.

Krebons Posted at 12:49 pm on Dec. 1, 2008
Just don't copy what they're doing.... For the love of god please don't
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