Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic divorce Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]britishguy[/m] at 12:55 pm on Dec. 8, 2008[quote]My parents divorced when I was very young. My father left when I was 4 and he slept with another woman whom he later married. I wasn't told about the remarriage until after it had occurred. The divorce was acrimonious and for year mother mother hated my father and took that out on me. Their divorce literally changed the course of my life. My mother had a breakdown and I was beaten for years afterwards. I never really knew my father and I grew up feeling like I didn't have a family and that I was alone. If it hadn't been for this I doubt I would have schooled myself, moved out of home at 17, married at 18, or even be divorced now. It was undoubtedly the most significant event of my life, even though I was only a passive observer at the time.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post greenfrog04 Posted at 12:51 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 i have a few questions for people whose parents have gone through divorce. do you think the age it happened makes a difference how badly it affects you? were you hurt to find that one parent cheated on the other if that was the case? was it hard to see one if not both parents remarry? overall how great of a toll did your parents' divorce take on you? im just very curious. i think some answers to these questions will help me understand somebody i know a little better

Replies amiee Posted at 2:58 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 I was 13 when my parents split up. My family completely fell apart. No one expected it either because my parents never argued and, to everyone else, we did seem perfect. I think being older sucked somewhat because it meant I understood a huge amount of what was going on, whereas my younger sister (who was 4 at the time) understood less and will, therefore, be affected less with all the drama as she grows up. My older sister and I understand and know everything that went on and it's fucked with our heads a lot. My dad did cheat on my mum, although it was years and years before they actually split up. I found out a couple of months after they split and it hurt a lot knowing that my dad did that. What was worse, however, was knowing how bad he felt about it. I can't even think about it, tbh. Neither of my parents have remarried although my mum is currently in a relationship and my dad has been in one. A while after they first split my mum met an abusive guy and that just added to the strain in all our lives. He moved in eventually and I was still hurting from my mum and dad splitting up so it was really, really difficult. Then it got abusive and it nearly destroyed my mum and sister's relationship. Thankfully she got out of the relationship and things are much better. I don't mind that my parents have found, or are finding, new people. I want them to be happy so I have no issue with it. Their divorce fucked me up for a long time. My dad had a breakdown and a few days after Christmas that year he tried to kill himself. This pattern was repeated for about three years - he tried to kill himself, got taken into hospital, was released, tried to kill himself again. I can't describe how heartbreaking it is to sit with your dad while he cries and wishes more than anything in the world to just die. I was a proper daddy's girl though so I took it really badly. He hasn't attempted suicide in two years and things are looking up in that sense. He's an alcoholic now and in the beginning, when they first split, used to manipulate me and say a lot of fucked up crap to me, some of which I don't think I'll ever emotionally recover from. My mum also turned to alcohol for about a year and life was pretty much hell during that time. As I said, she and my sister's relationship fell apart although they're rebuilding it. She moved someone abusive into the house and during that time my own suicide attempts were more frequent and I was scared pretty much constantly. I've also lost contact with pretty much the entire side of my dad's family. They treated my mum horrifically throughout the divorce and I can't forgive them for it, because my mum's the best. Basically, it took a huge amount out of me and am only starting to recover now. My entire family has some scars from it all that'll never go away, but we live with it and we're happier people. Corrupted Innocence Posted at 2:25 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 do you think the age it happened makes a difference how badly it affects you? Yes, I was 11 (I know that isn't that young but still it did affect me pretty badly, still does to this day but I think it's because of the circumstances of everything which has happened so that might be why it's affected me so much. were you hurt to find that one parent cheated on the other if that was the case? Yes, because the fact that he went off lorry driving for the week, he didn't call me until the Thursday (which was just for a talk and he had left to go work the Sunday night. He normally called EVERY day) the fact he did it for the second time during my mum and his marriage. The women he cheated on my mum with was someone he was engaged to 24 years previous to when he left. was it hard to see one if not both parents remarry? I didn't see my dad as he moved over 300 miles from me, because that was where his new women lived. He chose her over me, HIS daughter. overall how great of a toll did your parents' divorce take on you? A LOT I saw my mum cry heartbreaking tears when he left, it is something which will be imprinted in my mind for the rest of my life. Also I was daddies little girl so it really hurt that he moved so far away from me. I haven't seen him in like 3 years. Since he left I've only seen him 5 times (or less) and spoken to him barely because I hate him now, because of the shitty way he treated me, my mum and my brother. greenfrog04 Posted at 12:58 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 yea the person im trying to understand witnessed his parents divorce at the age of 5. his mom HATES his father. they still dont get along til this day. so when it happens at a young age like that do you all think its a lot harder? because of the confusion? Teenie1 Posted at 12:56 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 I was ten years old. It affected me really bad. I ran away. My mum has been in a relationship for a year, my dad has been in one for three years and a half.... I'm 15 going on 16 in march. My dad was having an affair. britishguy Posted at 12:55 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 My parents divorced when I was very young. My father left when I was 4 and he slept with another woman whom he later married. I wasn't told about the remarriage until after it had occurred. The divorce was acrimonious and for year mother mother hated my father and took that out on me. Their divorce literally changed the course of my life. My mother had a breakdown and I was beaten for years afterwards. I never really knew my father and I grew up feeling like I didn't have a family and that I was alone. If it hadn't been for this I doubt I would have schooled myself, moved out of home at 17, married at 18, or even be divorced now. It was undoubtedly the most significant event of my life, even though I was only a passive observer at the time. frogdude Posted at 12:55 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 i think the age matters a lot, my parents split when i was little so it was very hard for me to understand sub800 Posted at 12:53 pm on Dec. 8, 2008 yes yes yes alot i mean what do you think All 7 previous replies displayed.