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Topic Trying to make me more "social"
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 4:48 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
My parents are always trying to get me to do crap like go to camp in summer and hang out at the youth center after school. They tell me it's bad that I only have a few friends and don't really hang out with them. But I'm just introverted and I'm perfectly happy, it's the most annoying thing!!! Why would preferring to be by yourself instead of with other people be a bad thing? It's not like its going to make me shoot up my school or something. That's what they act like. Can't stand it.

Well, parents nag.

Replies
Mieux Posted at 12:04 am on Jan. 5, 2009
It is not a bad thing. There is a misunderstanding between you and your parents. It seems as though they clearly do not have the same type of personality as you, so they cannot relate to your life as an introvert. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a few friends.

The best thing you can do right now is to let them know that you are genuinely happy and that you do not feel comfortable being around a lot of people, not necessarily because you are shy (because not all introverts are shy, though maybe you are; I do not know) but because your personality does not really allow for it. Seriously, show them some legit information on an internet site if you have to. Not everyone is a social butterfly whether they like to believe it or not. It is going to take awhile for them to feel convinced (and hopefully they will be, eventually).

This sounds eerily similar to a situation I had to go through a few years ago. I am introverted and reserved, too, and my dad is a very extroverted, outgoing guy with a ton of friends. This was during the time of the Virginia Tech massacre, and my dad read that the guy that shot all those students was not social and did not have any friends. I had to point out to him that antisocial personality disorder is very much different from introvertedness.

One thing to remember though is that this society does not favor introverts, so you would still be wise to learn to be a better conversationalist and at least appear somewhat more outgoing and approachable. Otherwise people will tend to associate you with being a cold, distant person. I am still learning.

shine brighter15 Posted at 10:56 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
well if you really are happy then thats probably good.
it is fun to meet people though, its just a good skill to have. It doesn't mean you have to hang out with them a lot though. But if youre happy thats good.

But I might say that its nice to have friends when theres somethign you want to talk about, sometimes theyre the perfect people to make you feel better. So its good to keep a couple friends really close.

HiggledyPiggledy Posted at 7:36 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Quote: from Anonymous at 12:48 am on Jan. 5, 2009

My parents are always trying to get me to do crap like go to camp in summer and hang out at the youth center after school. They tell me it's bad that I only have a few friends and don't really hang out with them. But I'm just introverted and I'm perfectly happy, it's the most annoying thing!!! Why would preferring to be by yourself instead of with other people be a bad thing? It's not like its going to make me shoot up my school or something. That's what they act like. Can't stand it.

Well, parents nag.


Being Greek I'm not familiar with "camp". Do you learn things while there? If so, what?

will m Posted at 5:11 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Quote: from Anonymous at 5:07 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from will m at 4:57 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from Anonymous at 4:52 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from will m at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Hmm I agree with everything you said apart from one bit...as an introvert, the few friends that you have? I think it's quite healthy to be close to them, you need strong links aside from your family, whether you have a lot or just one or two.    

  You see, there are things you can say to your friends that are never possible with family members


  To be quite honest, most people, including my 'friends', annoy me. I don't know, maybe that's something I should try to work on. Thanks for pointing that out.


 

 hehe no problem. Have you spoken to your parents about this? And without patronizing you here, I mean  spoken not argued or shouted. Don't say things like you like to be alone or you don't like anybody, because that hints at an unhealthy social life, even depression, but try to comment about feeling uncomfortable with many people or with forced conversation and social activities. Best of luck :)


Yeah, they always want me to go to parties and such with them, which are usually pretty stressful for me, which I tell them. I am guilty of claiming to not like anybody though (and I say I'm 100% fine and happy anyways). They know I'm not depressed or anything like that though, I do have a happy demeanor.


Well that's got to show them you're thinking positively about it. Yeah, I would suggest a proper talk though. Try to plan it beforehand instead of bringing it up as you are told you have to go to a party or camp etc.

It's good to plan an exact day and time, when they're not too stressed too. Make you and your mum a cup of tea and sit and talk, works wonders :)

Anonymous Posted at 5:07 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Quote: from will m at 4:57 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from Anonymous at 4:52 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from will m at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Hmm I agree with everything you said apart from one bit...as an introvert, the few friends that you have? I think it's quite healthy to be close to them, you need strong links aside from your family, whether you have a lot or just one or two.

  You see, there are things you can say to your friends that are never possible with family members


 

 To be quite honest, most people, including my 'friends', annoy me. I don't know, maybe that's something I should try to work on. Thanks for pointing that out.


hehe no problem. Have you spoken to your parents about this? And without patronizing you here, I mean spoken not argued or shouted. Don't say things like you like to be alone or you don't like anybody, because that hints at an unhealthy social life, even depression, but try to comment about feeling uncomfortable with many people or with forced conversation and social activities. Best of luck :)


Yeah, they always want me to go to parties and such with them, which are usually pretty stressful for me, which I tell them. I am guilty of claiming to not like anybody though (and I say I'm 100% fine and happy anyways). They know I'm not depressed or anything like that though, I do have a happy demeanor.

will m Posted at 4:57 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Quote: from Anonymous at 4:52 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Quote: from will m at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Hmm I agree with everything you said apart from one bit...as an introvert, the few friends that you have? I think it's quite healthy to be close to them, you need strong links aside from your family, whether you have a lot or just one or two.  

 You see, there are things you can say to your friends that are never possible with family members


To be quite honest, most people, including my 'friends', annoy me. I don't know, maybe that's something I should try to work on. Thanks for pointing that out.


hehe no problem. Have you spoken to your parents about this? And without patronizing you here, I mean  spoken not argued or shouted. Don't say things like you like to be alone or you don't like anybody, because that hints at an unhealthy social life, even depression, but try to comment about feeling uncomfortable with many people or with forced conversation and social activities. Best of luck :)

blufindr Posted at 4:56 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Tell them and don't go.
Anonymous Posted at 4:52 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Quote: from will m at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009

Hmm I agree with everything you said apart from one bit...as an introvert, the few friends that you have? I think it's quite healthy to be close to them, you need strong links aside from your family, whether you have a lot or just one or two.

You see, there are things you can say to your friends that are never possible with family members


To be quite honest, most people, including my 'friends', annoy me. I don't know, maybe that's something I should try to work on. Thanks for pointing that out.

xxXemoXxx Posted at 4:51 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
My mom got over it. Hope you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
will m Posted at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
Hmm I agree with everything you said apart from one bit...as an introvert, the few friends that you have? I think it's quite healthy to be close to them, you need strong links aside from your family, whether you have a lot or just one or two.

You see, there are things you can say to your friends that are never possible with family members

LittleBombs Posted at 4:50 pm on Jan. 4, 2009
I know what you mean, my parents are the same. Though they have changed a little since I got a bf, but not much. =[
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