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zamrambo
6.21.08
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Original Post
Deceiving You Last Posted at 8:50 pm on Aug. 20, 2006
ok so me and my REALLY good friend Sara are very close. but recently her boyfriend broke up with her and shes starting to hang out with his friends. which doesnt bother me if she hangs out with other people that arnt in our "group". but they go to a different school thats only a few miles away from our school. anyway. the one girl shes hanging out with (brittany) is totaly changing her. like idk a compleat different person. i still love her and everything but... im kinda scared of how this is going to work out. because for some reason (long story) we dont like eachother (me and brittany) but yea... i cant talk to her. because you would just have to know sara... so please dont say... just talk to her becuase if i do she will just say well get over it im hanging out with other people gosh. and i dont care that she is but its the people i have a problem with... but yea.. err im confused.

Replies
I Am the Underdog Posted at 12:45 am on Aug. 22, 2006
I think you should try to include yourself in the activities. What would you rather have happen; Sara keeps on changing, or you put your differences aside and have to put up with Brittiny? Then you need to talk to your friend. Tell her about how shes changing, and not in a good way. Tell her that you like the OLD Sara.

Then, if she doesn't change, then it might not be a good thing to change her. People change. Maybe your friend in changing. People grow in and out of personalities. The chances are this one wont last forever. But while it does, you should accept her for who she is.

Misutsu Posted at 11:40 pm on Aug. 21, 2006
Changing your friend in what ways?
Rainbow Blight Posted at 3:07 pm on Aug. 21, 2006
Maybe it's time that you abandon Brittany and Sara and move on.  Sara's changed for the worse and she'll only drag you down deeper into the spiral of depression.  Other people would disagree with me, but I say write them off.  If Sara doesn't want to talk and wants to hang out with her own circle of friends, even to the extent that she would say "well, get over it, I'm hanging out with different people now," then leave her behind and make some new friends.  You could try one last-ditch effort to be accepted into their group because things seem pretty shitty already right now and can't get worse.  Maybe there's a chance at winning Sara back but don't get your hopes up.  If that last-ditch effort to win her over fails, consider the friendship over and move on.  I know that it's hard to accept, but friendship is ephemeral and there's no such thing as 'friends for life.'  Once you've accepted the fleetingness of friendship, you'll feel as if a great burden has been lifted off your shoulders.
jennipher Posted at 10:17 am on Aug. 21, 2006
i dont no wat to tell yah
Kuzaki Posted at 5:31 am on Aug. 21, 2006
I know you said talking to her was out of the question, but the only other alternative is losing one of your closest friends. You have to talk to her if you want to get anywhere. Explain that you don't have a problem with the fact that she's hanging out with new people, it's the fact that these people are changing who she is that is getting to you. Try and find examples of how she was before and compare them to the way she behaves now. Nothing opens a person's eyes more than having a friend point out where they're going wrong.

I don't know your reasons for not liking Brittany (and they seem irrelevant anyway - you don't have to get on with her), but you have to try explaining those to Sara as well.

Spice Posted at 12:47 am on Aug. 21, 2006
You do need to talk to her, but that is not all I am going to say.

Why fo you not get on with Brittany? Maybe there is a way of resolving that. You can't just not like someone - if you feel as though she has done something wrong, try resolving that with her. It's not Sara's fault that you and Brittany don't get on. It's worth a try for the sake of your friend.

Or talk to Sara, tell her you feel as though she is changing, and why you don't like Brittanty, etc.

Tell her - you don't have a problem that she's found new friends, it's the friends she's found. Either way, you need to talk to one or the other.

PM if you want to talk xx

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