Quoting Post Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic revise my essay please? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] Quote: from [m]Mieux[/m] at 12:10 am on Jan. 5, 2009[quote]Right away I see something that should be fixed. Get rid of the "first, second, third." It is pretty much not tolerated at an advanced level of essay writing. Just delete those words entirely. Do not replace them with anything.[/quote] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post agerask Posted at 11:44 pm on Jan. 4, 2009 thank you so much. i owe you my life. haha.

Replies Mieux Posted at 12:18 am on Jan. 5, 2009 Extensive involvement in the program thus far, my need for school-related monetary relief, and proficient academic performance in both past and current German courses qualify me as a recipient of dual credit tuition assistance. My involvement in Liberty's German program is extensive. Last year, I hosted a student from Germany, and this year, I am going to Germany as an exchange student. I also participated in two events--individual poetry recitation and group skit--at the UMKC Language Fair. Our group skit performance took first place. In addition, I am a member of the German Film Project, an extracurricular activity with which I am involved on my own time. Currently, I have a large need for school-related monetary relief. Taking two AP classes means paying for two AP exams, which is not going to be easy on the pocketbook. Moreover, I will be going on two international exchanges over the course of 2009. Travel is expensive and is rapidly becoming even more costly. Additionally, providing for both my older brother's college tuition and my school-related expenses at the same time create a giant burden on me. Over the course of German 110, I have upheld superior academic performance. I am an active class participant, and I always work hard to gain thorough understanding of new concepts and materials. Most importantly, I have consistently maintained high grade marks in every one of my past and current German courses. I changed just a few minor things. Mieux Posted at 12:10 am on Jan. 5, 2009 Right away I see something that should be fixed. Get rid of the "first, second, third." It is pretty much not tolerated at an advanced level of essay writing. Just delete those words entirely. Do not replace them with anything. All 2 previous replies displayed.