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Topic Am I wrong for wanting to take a year off.
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Original Post
Luxe Posted at 7:03 pm on June 19, 2012
I'm graduating this year from high school, I'm graduating a year later than I should've.

I also want to take a year off before I start university. I plan to defer my acceptance for UofT for a year, and then reapply to Western again next year and see if I get accepted there again. If not, then I can go to UofT.
I'll be 20 when I finally do start.

Why?

1) I'd like to work and save up a little money for uni so it's not all loans and shit. It might not be a lot, maybe even a few hundred, but still.

2) I want to gain more life experience. I've been rather sheltered, and have grown a lot these last 6/7 months through working at the daycare, and at the bridal boutique for co-op.

3) I'm a bit emotionally and mental unstable right now, and I'm suicidal. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to start university like that. I could barely handle my grade 12 courses, and seriously nearly snapped a few times. I had plenty of suicidal thoughts, and it reached the point where it was a constant feeling of utter dread and distaste for life and myself in general.

4) I'd like to get the fuck out of this mask I'm living under, and be my own person. No more of this religion, no more of acting the part, and dealing with having to be a certain way. I'd love to move out, and be myself for once.

5) I'd like to visit some family in the US, I can work and save a few hundred to do that.

6) I don't want to use university as a way to escape my problems at home. It's what my mother did, and it did not turn out well for her.

A lot of that's unrealistic, I get it, but I don't think "rushing" into university just because I'm already 19, and my mother claims that it'll be a wasted year is a good idea.
But that's just me.
I had a brief talk with my father about it, and he understands a bit more. My mother is just a thick-headed bitch, and so yeah.

I'd like your opinions/feedback because I trust your opinion more than my mother's.

Replies
penguincube Posted at 9:01 pm on June 20, 2012
I would normally tell someone not to take a year off, and that was what I was originally going to do here.

But as it turns out, you actually have some very good and well thought out reasons as to why it is a good thing to do for you.

Just make sure you are accomplishing your personal goals in that year off and not squandering your time. Also, don't wait the full year to start working on your plan for applying to and paying for your eventual college experience.

Oh, and when you do go, make sure you take advantage of all of the outside of the classroom opportunities that exist to develop you as a person. It sounds like you are doing a lot of growing and colleges have everything from counseling service to leadership and service opportunities to help continue that growth in a structured way.

Luxe Posted at 4:53 pm on June 20, 2012
Quote: from amiee at 7:41 pm on June 20, 2012

absolutely, i really do think your reasons are sound. when i took my time out initially i said i wanted to work and everything, but really that time was about me getting myself together. figuring myself and my life out, what i wanted, just getting better. and really, i can't regret it and i grew (and healed) so much during that time. it does sound like you've thought about this thoroughly and know where you're going with it. best of luck to you.

Thank you. I was starting to really doubt myself.
amiee Posted at 4:41 pm on June 20, 2012
absolutely, i really do think your reasons are sound. when i took my time out initially i said i wanted to work and everything, but really that time was about me getting myself together. figuring myself and my life out, what i wanted, just getting better. and really, i can't regret it and i grew (and healed) so much during that time. it does sound like you've thought about this thoroughly and know where you're going with it. best of luck to you.
Luxe Posted at 4:34 pm on June 20, 2012
Quote: from amiee at 7:13 am on June 20, 2012

there's nothing wrong with it, and your reasons for doing so are pretty sound. if going to uni eventually is something you're absolutely sure you want to do then i wouldn't take the time off unless you've definitely secured yourself a place for next year - that is, you confirm and make sure you've deferred. that way it feels like you're working towards something, you know? i took time out before going to uni, but i had my place secured for when i was going back, so knew i definitely would. i was working toward it. it was the best thing i ever done, although now (three years later) it is slightly frustrating to think that i could have graduated by now, so that's just something to be aware of. it can be frustrating, but if you be sure to get some of the things done that you want to during this time, then it'll be worth it.

My main main thing is to do a lot of growing.
I have so much that I want to do and learn about myself and life, and I feel it'd be best to do that before I go off to university.

I feel rather all over the place mentally and I'm really emotional so I want to sort a few things out, and get a better view of what direction I really want to take my life.

It's serious stuff for me to leave this religion, or even just take steps towards that, it's my whole life basically. It's going to affect my relationships with, and likely end a lot of relationships with people I truly think highly of.

I need to start setting some, I don't know, boundaries I guess with certain things.
It's going to be far from a wasted year, even if it's not much accomplished physically, emotionally and mentally it'll be a huge mark.

amiee Posted at 4:13 am on June 20, 2012
there's nothing wrong with it, and your reasons for doing so are pretty sound. if going to uni eventually is something you're absolutely sure you want to do then i wouldn't take the time off unless you've definitely secured yourself a place for next year - that is, you confirm and make sure you've deferred. that way it feels like you're working towards something, you know? i took time out before going to uni, but i had my place secured for when i was going back, so knew i definitely would. i was working toward it. it was the best thing i ever done, although now (three years later) it is slightly frustrating to think that i could have graduated by now, so that's just something to be aware of. it can be frustrating, but if you be sure to get some of the things done that you want to during this time, then it'll be worth it.
Luxe Posted at 7:27 pm on June 19, 2012
Quote: from L 0 V E at 10:16 pm on June 19, 2012

There's nothing wrong with it. A lot of people take a year off, plus it will give you some time to really decide what you want to do. The only bad thing is getting back in the habit of studying and going to classes, plus if all your friends are going right after high school, they'll all be ahead of you in college. Which can kinda suck when everyone you know if off at college while you're still at home.

I don't care about that. I'm already behind them because I took a year longer to graduate.
Oswin Oswald Posted at 7:16 pm on June 19, 2012
There's nothing wrong with it. A lot of people take a year off, plus it will give you some time to really decide what you want to do. The only bad thing is getting back in the habit of studying and going to classes, plus if all your friends are going right after high school, they'll all be ahead of you in college. Which can kinda suck when everyone you know if off at college while you're still at home.
Waddiwasi Posted at 7:10 pm on June 19, 2012
Do whatever you want, but everyone I know who has taken a year off hasn't gone back. I've never understood how college was so hard for some people.
Omelette Du Fromage Posted at 7:06 pm on June 19, 2012
i took a year off >.>
(not my decision though)

it's really boring and sad seeing all my friends go off to college and meeting new people.

Cosmo Brown Posted at 7:04 pm on June 19, 2012
Not at all.  I went to college right out of high school, but at one point I was considering a year off.
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