-- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:06 pm on June 25, 2008 My oldest sister today told me that I should really consider entering college with a boyfriend.  She said I should work on my social networking, and that she didn't think I should have one. And you know, I've seen friend's relationships break apart after entering college (even after 2 years of dating). But what... am I just supposed to break up after 1.75 years of dating, just because...?  I think it can go places, why do I have to 'free' myself if I think it's worth the shot?  Well, she said that if I thought it would take me somewhere, then it was worth it, but my other sister also told me that she didn't think he could make me happy in the future... though I realize this is not their call. QUESTION:  I just want to know what you're opinion is?  Should you enter college with or without a boyfriend or girlfriend?  If you have one, do you think you should just break up and start afresh (we're not going to the same college).  I dunno, opinions? -- Posted by neverjeeps at 11:08 pm on June 25, 2008 break up if you're not too attatched but stay togather if you're going to be able to see him a lot. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:10 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from neverjeeps at 11:08 pm on June 25, 2008 break up if you're not too attatched but stay togather if you're going to be able to see him a lot. Well, we're quite attached.  This year I will be commuting the hour, but after that, I will move up towards campus and will be living an hour away... But I mean, he more or less moved here for me, and we went through long distance for 9 months (where he lived a 14 hour non-stop drive away). -- Posted by BrokenBelief at 11:12 pm on June 25, 2008 Basically, here's what you should really do.  Go into college with optimism for the long-distance relationship to work.  Don't break it off for a while and see how it goes.  If it becomes stressful at any time, break it off.  It's worth it to see how it would work, but it's probably not worth it to work and work at it. -- Posted by runthespread at 11:13 pm on June 25, 2008 it depends on the relationship. If its a really attached, clingy, do this by this time, no you can't see or talk to them or do that sort of deal, then no. If its a mature one where the only limitations are moral ones andtheres trust, then stick with it but focus on school and meeting people. -- Posted by neverjeeps at 11:14 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 11:10 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from neverjeeps at 11:08 pm on June 25, 2008 break up if you're not too attatched but stay togather if you're going to be able to see him a lot. Well, we're quite attached. This year I will be commuting the hour, but after that, I will move up towards campus and will be living an hour away... But I mean, he more or less moved here for me, and we went through long distance for 9 months (where he lived a 14 hour non-stop drive away). i wouldn't break up -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:15 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from BrokenBelief at 11:12 pm on June 25, 2008 Basically, here's what you should really do. Go into college with optimism for the long-distance relationship to work. Don't break it off for a while and see how it goes. If it becomes stressful at any time, break it off. It's worth it to see how it would work, but it's probably not worth it to work and work at it. Well, that's the thing.  We went through the stress of a long distance relationship once before.  We did it for 9 months. But I'll be commuting this year, so I'll still live 15 minutes away.  And the year after, I'll live an hour away (but planning to come back on weekends to work). And we also talked about it and we think it's worth the shot.  I'm just surprised my sister just told me to really consider it.  I mean, if I did take her advice, what am I supposed to say to my boyfriend.  "I love you, it's been almost two years, but there's a chance that this might not work, so let's just give up here"?  lol. -- Posted by jenjenpoo at 11:16 pm on June 25, 2008 I say don't plan for a break-up. Breakups should only be considered when a problem is having a toll on the relationship. -- Posted by BrokenBelief at 11:34 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 11:15 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from BrokenBelief at 11:12 pm on June 25, 2008 Basically, here's what you should really do.  Go into college with optimism for the long-distance relationship to work.  Don't break it off for a while and see how it goes.  If it becomes stressful at any time, break it off.  It's worth it to see how it would work, but it's probably not worth it to work and work at it. Well, that's the thing.  We went through the stress of a long distance relationship once before.  We did it for 9 months. But I'll be commuting this year, so I'll still live 15 minutes away.  And the year after, I'll live an hour away (but planning to come back on weekends to work). And we also talked about it and we think it's worth the shot.  I'm just surprised my sister just told me to really consider it.  I mean, if I did take her advice, what am I supposed to say to my boyfriend.  "I love you, it's been almost two years, but there's a chance that this might not work, so let's just give up here"?  lol. Oh God, you're not really moving away from him? That's not distance or anything.  I thought you were going off to college and he was staying.  It's stupid to break it off "just to be free in college." -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 11:44 pm on June 25, 2008 Quote: from BrokenBelief at 11:34 pm on June 25, 2008 Oh God, you're not really moving away from him? That's not distance or anything. I thought you were going off to college and he was staying. It's stupid to break it off "just to be free in college." I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!  I mean... I can't even imagine it, nor am I consdering it.  I just wanted to know if someone else thought my sister was right, or whether it was good advice or something. I couldn't dream of just breaking up like that... it seems so stupid to me -__-'.  If I could just break up like that, then it wouldn't have been a relationship that was worth it in the first place, lol. -- Posted by EmilyAnn at 8:36 am on June 27, 2008 At least attempt to make it work, I say. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and I'm finishing up my second year of community college. When I do transfer to a four-year college further away, I plan on staying with him if we're still together at that point. Why destroy a relationship that could potentially blossom into a lifelong love for no reason at all? -- Posted by rinasings2u at 12:05 pm on June 27, 2008 Don't break up with him, just because of someone else's experience. You need to do what is right for you, whatever that might entail. I think you sister just doesn't want you to be that girl that stays in on Thurs and Fridays cause you have a bf. Set boundaries with you bf and tell him you are going to be meeting new people and share with him if he is supportive and really loves you, he will understand.   -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 12:13 pm on June 27, 2008 Quote: from rinasings2u at 12:05 pm on June 27, 2008 Don't break up with him, just because of someone else's experience. You need to do what is right for you, whatever that might entail. I think you sister just doesn't want you to be that girl that stays in on Thurs and Fridays cause you have a bf. Set boundaries with you bf and tell him you are going to be meeting new people and share with him if he is supportive and really loves you, he will understand. He does understand :).  He's never been the type that hasn't let me go out, and both of us are pretty open and trust the other.  Even so, I'm not a partier or anything like that anyway... so even if I did stay in on a Thurs or Fri, it isn't because I'm in a relationship :). -- Posted by victoria4951ct at 2:12 pm on June 27, 2008 That's really up to you but I wouldn't if I was single. I want to be more focused on my studies then worry about impressing my b/f. Then if you guys end up having problems it could interfere with your school work... -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 3:15 pm on June 27, 2008 Quote: from victoria4951ct at 2:12 pm on June 27, 2008 That's really up to you but I wouldn't if I was single. I want to be more focused on my studies then worry about impressing my b/f. Then if you guys end up having problems it could interfere with your school work... School work is my priority, and he knows that.  Work first, then play :). -- Posted by RainBowBow at 12:00 pm on June 28, 2008 Dating in college is so much better. High school date fuck up 80 percent of the time -- Posted by Is this you at 7:13 am on June 29, 2008 If you can see yourself marrying him, then don't break up. Simple.