-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:12 pm on June 26, 2008 ...But I'm in a year and a half relationship. Let's start, we'll call my girlfriend Jane, and my bestfriend Nikki. I've known Nikki for 5 years, and we have been amazing friends for those 5 years, we dated a few times, nothing serious as we were young. I have always felt more than friendship for her, always. I would even say I love her. She means everything to me and I think about her all the time, whatever I'm doing or wherever I am, I think about her. Jane hates Nikki, because of how close we are, I'm not supposed to even talk to Nikki, but I do, behind Jane's back, as she'll get jealous and even break up with me if she finds out. I love Jane, but I'm becoming bored of our relationship, I can seriously see a big relationship between us, and she has told me she wants to be with me forever, she wouldn't cheat on me, shes beautiful, she means the world to me. The thing is, I'm in a huge feud with my family right now, it's about me VS my mum, her cockhead boyfriend and my lil bro. I have no choice but to live there due to school and stuff, and Jane helps me through this, her family support me, her dad, has even offered me to live with him because of my home problems! Nikki's family, from what I've seen are amazing. I've only met her younger sister properly, but I know her mum likes me and her nan knows about me, as shes told her from when we have been involved in the past. Jane lives 28 miles from me, and I can only see her by car, it takes strain on people and costs petrol for her dad (Her dad lives 5 minutes walk from me.) And during school time I only see her at the weekends. Nikki lives 5 minutes on the bus from me, I could go see her anytime, and she is going to my college in September, so I could practially see her when I wanted. Nikki has just got out of a year and a few months relationship and says she isn't ready to move on. I love them both, the mean the world to me, Jane loves me, I am unsure about Nikki, she gives mixed signals, although to be honest it may be she only wants to be friends, and I blind myself because I don't want to accept the truth. Help me LiveWire, please, help me. -- Posted by Anonymous at 9:01 pm on July 3, 2008 So I see my topic isn't as impotant as other members...Thanks LiveWire. -- Posted by audrey820 at 8:28 am on July 5, 2008 I care. I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply. I'm reserving this spot and will do a reply later today when I have the proper amount of time to dedicate to one for you. But know that we do care. :) -- Posted by Disposition at 8:59 am on July 5, 2008 Hi! I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply yet. I do know the Serious Forum is often over looked by some Support Leaders because there's the eHelp section. But don't think it's because we do not care. Like audrey820 mentioned, we do care! While I cannot tell you exactly what to do in this situation, I can give you a few suggestions that will hopefully lead to your conclusion of this dilemma. First of all, you say you love both Nikki and Jane, but you haven't been completely honest with the one who you're supposed to be totally loyal to. While many people have different views on how a relationship should be, I believe that you should be as honest as possible with the person you're dating. If you cannot do that, then the relationship isn't worth it. The fact of the matter is, Jane asked you not to talk to Nikki, but you still do, and that can be considered, well, disloyal. Of course, your girlfriend shouldn't be forbidding you to talk to anyone. Jane does it because she's jealous of your relationship with Nikki, and Jane's worried that Nikki will get in the way of your love to her. Instead of complying with Jane, saying "Yes, honey, I won't talk to her," it would have been ideal to talk to her about the situation. I don't know if you did or not, but she should have been secure enough to know that Nikki wouldn't interfere with the relationship. It seems that Jane KNOWS that your relationship with Nikki is interfering despite this. Right now, you're in a difficult spot in choosing between two people that you love. And that's the thing, you can't have it both ways. If you love Jane, then you need to move on from Nikki. You could talk to her about how Nikki is only a friend, and nothing more, but how it's not fair that she's forbidding you to talk to a friend. Hopefully, Jane will see that forbidding you to talk to Nikki is putting a strain on your relationship, and will allow you to speak to her. If you want to stay with Jane, I strongly recommend that you continue to reassure her that you love her, and only her. (After you move on from Nikki, of course.) On the other hand, if you decide that you should be with Nikki, then you need to tell Jane right away. While Jane has been unfair, you have as well by continuing to be with Jane when you aren't certain if you want to or not. Either way, you should weigh the consequences on both sides. While you love Jane, do you think that you love Nikki more and would be happier with her? If you left Jane, would you be willing to wait for Nikki to be ready for a relationship again? In addition to that, what would you do if Nikki didn't feel the same way? Things will work out for the best, in time. Please feel free to PM me if you have any other questions or just want to talk about it. (Or anything else! :] ) Be well, Rachel -- Posted by Anonymous at 4:26 pm on July 16, 2008 I need more help. BUMP.