-- Posted by kooljack1 at 4:20 pm on July 9, 2008 okay, so yes I have posted about this before, but I am going to post the whole story, since I just sort of need people to listen and understand, and maybe give me advice.   I have a friend, hes a boy, I met him awhile ago, when I volenteried at this hospital. He was in there for attempting to comit suicide, I got to know him, and when he was released to go home, I found out he actually lived really close to me, and went to my school. We became friends and I met his parents, and they told me I could come over to visit him at anytime. So one day I did, and I went in his bedroom and I found him in the corner of his room in the dark crying.   People call him a 'retard' and kids treat him like crap, like they treat him HORRIBLY. He refuses to talk to just about everyone except for me and a few people that are very close to him. He cuts himself, not only on his arms, but on his penis too. I know this because, I have sort of seen him masterbate lmao. He stutters alot and his eyes roll around in his head and he gets confused really easy. He hates when I turn the lights in his room on. His mom seems to think hes fat for some reason, and every chance she gets she tells him hes fat. He eats food, and he um...pukes it up..in his room because he is afraid to come out... He clings to me alot, and he always wants to cuddle, and he told me that he looks at gay porn on the computer and that he thinks men are attractive, but yet he wants to cuddle with me and he always wants me to hold him, and he tried kissing me and stuff. I have a few quesitons- 1) What does he think of me as? 2) Does he like me? 3) What is wrong with him, I know theres something, but im afraid to ask. 4) What can I do to help him? Remember, Im only 14 years old and im a girl and hes a boy -- Posted by kooljack1 at 8:48 pm on July 9, 2008 anyone have any sugestions? -- Posted by kooljack1 at 4:33 pm on July 11, 2008 um..still waititng for advice... -- Posted by audrey820 at 9:41 am on July 12, 2008 Okay, let me see what I can offer you here. But I have to first point out that this is really beyond anything that you can handle alone. He needs more help than you can offer, sorry. I know that temptation to solve everything for him. But you can't. First off, I'm not sue how he sees you. To be honest, I don't think he knows how he sees you at this point. The lines are too blurred for him. You mean a lot and you're important. Really, you're a symbol of acceptance for him. I don't think he has ever had anyone accept him before. You probably make him feel more normal than anyone every has. And really....you make him feel like he matters. He doesn't have people in his life who look at him and just see him. His mom judges him, his peers judge him, the doctors judge him. They're all telling him how he needs to change. You are unconditional acceptance and therefore someone he relies on a lot. It's easy to confuse those feelings for liking someone in a romantic way. He appreciates you and values having you around, know that. The rest will likely get sorted if he gets better. We can't diagnose anyone. There's obviously a lot wrong with him right now. Serious self esteem issues, he's self mutilating. He may have some kind of mental disability. You could ask his mom when you know he won't hear you, or ask him. You're his friend and care no matter what, hopefully he knows that and will answer you. To be blunt, your friend is a mess. He has too many issues going on right now. He needs help before he seriously hurts himself. I highly suggest talking to his mom to see if he's in therapy. Tell her what you know so she can find appropriate help. And from there, talk to him as a friend and urge him to open up in therapy so he can get better. But really, he's n a dangerous path. Self injury and purging are both very very dangerous. And I doubt he'll stop without help. And I doubt his mom knows what's going on or I she wouldn't call him fat like that. I know you may feel like a snitch, but talking to her about his issues will let her be informed so he can get proper treatment and the right help for his issues. You're doing all you can. Your support is worth more than you know. Caring for someone like that is a wonderful gift. I hope I've managed to offer you some help. Also, don't be afraid to tell him when you're uncomfortable and like if he crosses any line. I know you want to help, but don't sacrifice your own happiness and stability for anyone. The best of luck. -- Posted by kooljack1 at 7:45 pm on Nov. 13, 2008 Had to update this, it was so tempting. My little friend here, actually turned full circle. The most amazing thing in the world. He actually found he likes school, a lot. He opens up a lot easier now. He has stopped regurgitating his food, though sometimes he still cuts, it's rare. He has many more friends and he can look in the mirror. I noticed something every time I look at him, he has the most beautiful smile and his eyes light up when he laughs. He has a girlfriend who he litterally worships. He still has rough spots now and than and he is on a lot of medication to control his problems, but he's back on the right track. Basically, I'm posting this to just remind everyone who is in trouble or has a friend in trouble, there is light at the end of the tunnel that you can never give up. Eventually, things get better.