-- Posted by af1hco1ae at 4:47 pm on July 9, 2008 my moms always been really abusive till my sister died she drowned then I felt really bad for my mom and we becaume close, but then her anger came back and I was sexually abused and that tore r realationship cuz I stopped trusting her. again she was hitting and hurting us. things were worse now. I didnt deal with my  issues on missing my sister cuz I was busy helping my mom. I now had an addiction to masterbation due to the sexual abuse. I still have this. I feel guilt cuz I don't believe in masterbation and I do it everyother day to everyday. I hate myself for it, and it makes me feel suicidal. then last year my dad got a life threatning disease and had to go from our home state pennsylvania to minisota for surgry his likely hood to live was about 30 percent. I was really scared. he survived tho then a few moths ago I got really suicidal and ended up in a mental hospital. I wish so bad I would have told them about my mom but she threatened me not to. now I feel hopeless most the time and don't know what to do and I get scared she will find out I am seeking help. I want to report her but its to hard. I told my guidance councler everything she does oneday, but he didnt want the officals to get involved. I told two teachers then but they told me to go to him. I said I did so they assumed it wasnt serious. I am dealing with a lot of pain. friends are being really gay, and boyfreind just broke up with me. I am really hopeless and need help. plese help. -- Posted by KathyN at 11:43 am on July 11, 2008 *hugs* I'm sorry you have to go through all that. I think you should go to a childcare servises or any other officials yourself. It would be hard, but i'm sure someone will listen to you. You need proffesional help and attention. All we can do here is just listen and confort... we can do nothing more, although i'm sure some people here want to help more. Hope everything turns fine in the end. If you want to talk I'm here to listen, and i'm sure some more sl's are too. I usually helps a bit when you tell your problems to someone. Best wishes, Kathy, -- Posted by af1hco1ae at 3:39 pm on July 11, 2008 thanks so much for caring