-- Posted by sidewalk at 1:22 am on July 14, 2008 Gradually over the past year, I've been becoming more and more disconnected from reality. I have certain periods of the day where I just all of a sudden "wake up" to find I've been staring at the grass for about 45 minutes. Or I'll find myself sitting in random places in a park. After thinking long and hard about why I'm there, I decide that it was reasonable for me to be there, but not be staring of into nothing. Then, I began to hallucinate. I started researching mental disorders, only to find myself digging for more symptoms of each. I know this is a common issue with researching these types of things. So, more recently, I've been pushing the symptoms from the forefront of my thoughts. However, the hallucinations persist. Tonight, I found myself staring into the sky to see a woman dancing and the stars jumping all around her. I've seen the sky talk to me, there are monsters in my room. There was a shadow on my wall telling me I'm going to die if I fall asleep. I'm afraid to talk to my parents. I don't want to be hospitalized. I'm starting to scare myself. People around me have also begun to notice my mental/emotional distance from them. I find myself more and more believing I am the creator of this world. Everything here is meant to keep me from being lonesome. However, knowing that, it just makes me super lonely. I need advice in any form. I am in a pickle. Help? -- Posted by afmc011 at 1:30 am on July 14, 2008 I hate to hear that these sort of things are happening to you. It must be a living nightmare. And I understand how you feel about your parents finding out, and what they may do. However, I don't think there is an alternative here. Things as serious as what you're going through don't typically fix themselves. I think the best thing you can do to help yourself is to confide in your parents. Tell them everything you told us. They should understand. At the very, very, very least, you may want to consider talking to a professional. Your school counselor could be of great help in a crunch like this. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, I've never had any sort of personal experience with something like this. If you ever wanna message me, though, feel free to. I'll try my hardest to help you out.