-- Posted by Anonymous at 7:39 pm on July 20, 2008 there's this guy. he's older than me by about ten years. i met him online... we've since met in person. i really really like him. i mean, we're really compatable. it's like, he's the only person i've ever been around that i just click with. he makes me laugh, he's sweet, he always knows exactly what to say. i've recently been going through a lot in my life.. and he's been right there for me. always letting me cry on his shoulder, always making me feel soo much better. the problem? he's married. don't get any ideas... we're just really good friends. he hasn't cheated on his wife. he doesn't want to. and i could never, ever in a billion years be "the other woman" he loves her very much, and even if he didn't... i wouldn't ask him to leave her for me. that's not the kind of person i am. and it's not the kind of person he is. we just like each other a lot. it's getting to the point that we're falling for each other. i don't want to cause any kind of stress on his marriage... they're already stressed enough. it's getting bad for me, though. i'm already really emotionally attached to him, and it's getting worse. i like him more every time i talk to him... and i know nothing can ever happen. how can i be friends with him when i like him so much? i don't want to totally cut him out of my life, but i'm not seeing any other option... my heart is breaking... -- Posted by Dont Notice Me at 7:41 pm on July 20, 2008 shut the fuck up and stop talking to him... -- Posted by Lally at 7:42 pm on July 20, 2008 Wow thats a hard decision. I dont know what to say..... -- Posted by Miden at 7:43 pm on July 20, 2008 Your getting into a dangerous situation here. You say you dont want to get emotionally attached and ruin their marriage, but yet you wont do anything to stop it. The best thing to do would be to just stop talking to him and find another friend to talk to. I dont know how old you are, but I'd imagin that what he is doing probably isn't legal anyway so just get away from that situation.   -- Posted by cassmeister at 7:46 pm on July 20, 2008 Quote: from dont notice me at 7:41 pm on July 20, 2008 shut the fuck up and stop talking to him... that's really fucking rude. this is why i don't post stuff on here.. because people can't ever just give you advice. they have to insert their own jackass opinion and make you feel bad. she isn't a bad person. she just got into a bad situation with a person she likes. she's trying to make a decision about cutting a really close friend out of her life and all you can say is shut the fuck up?? -- Posted by Anonymous at 7:50 pm on July 20, 2008 i'm old enough that it's not illegal. i'm not saying i won't do anything about it. i'm trying to decide what to do now. he's a really good person, and a good friend and i don't want to totally cut him out of my life... i'm fully aware that may be the only way to resolve the situation, but i'll only do that as a last resort. maybe i wasn't clear... is there any way i can get over my feelings for him, while still retaining him as a friend? -- Posted by cptg at 10:09 pm on July 20, 2008 you're falling for him, yet you don't want to put strain on his marriage. the only things that could happen is you seperating yourself from him or him ending up with you, i understand that either decision sucks but honestly you don't want to be THAT girl especially for a guy who you don't really know i mean come on, people can say or be anything on the internet. you need to remove him from your life, you're just headed for a REALLY bad situation. -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:33 am on July 22, 2008 i've told him that we're not going to be friends anymore... at least for now. i knew what i had to do and i was just avoiding it... so, i told him that we need to put some distance between us.. take a break. he needs to work on his marriage and i need to get a fucking grip and find something else, anything else, to focus on. so... once i get everything settled... maybe find a nice available man to date... stop having such intense feelings for him, then we can try the whole friends thing again. but as of now... no communication. at all. whatsoever. it sucks, but it was the right thing to do... -- Posted by cptg at 4:40 pm on July 22, 2008 you definatly did the right thing. especially for yoursefl -- Posted by nik1 at 4:36 am on July 23, 2008 If you spent as much time dealing with the wrong as you did with your own feelings and needs you could answer your own question. You don't have any other option.....cut him out of your life! If this jerk would do it to his wife he would do it to you! -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:16 am on July 23, 2008 Quote: from nik1 at 7:36 am on July 23, 2008 If you spent as much time dealing with the wrong as you did with your own feelings and needs you could answer your own question. You don't have any other option.....cut him out of your life! If this jerk would do it to his wife he would do it to you! he hasn't done anything to his wife. neither of us has done anything wrong. he didn't cheat on his wife. i didn't ask him to or expect him to. i just have developed feelings for him. he's a good person and i have a severe lack of those in my life which is why, i'm assuming, i developed such strong feelings for him. people rarely care as much as he does.. but in any case.. i have decided not to be friends with him right now until i can deal with the fact that he and i aren't going to be together. i know that it's wrong to have feelings for a married person. but they're also feelings, you can't really control them. so i'm not talking to him or seeing him again until it's dealt with. people see the word married and assume that i'm a bad person and that we've done something horrible or committed some unforgivable sin. we haven't. read the freaking post before you reply to it...