-- Posted by lingerie gurl at 5:48 pm on July 21, 2008 I am stuck at home right now. I am disabled because I blew my knee out. I am home alone from 8 am. to 4 p.m. then from 5 p.m. to 12 a.m. because my fiance goes to school and work. I cook, I clean, and I wash. I didn't have enough money to wash my own clothes so I just washed his. So, I have to go another week with no clean clothes. I get checks from the government but I give them to my fiance because he is the one paying the majority of the bills. So, I never have cash. I have to ask him for money. I don't care about money. I just ask that the one hour we have together, he spend it with me. He is either on the phone or IMing his friends. I have no human contact. And he has the car because he goes to work and school. So, I have no way to see my friends. My friends would visit me, but they live 2 hours away. My family? They are out of the picture.   I just want him to talk to me, cuddle with me, show me some type of love.   I am tired of being alone. I am tired of this. I have anxiety, depression, and PTSD. My therapist said it is a horrible idea to be left alone for so long. He can't sleep in the bedroom with me. He says he gets claustrophobic. So, I have to sleep alone in the bedroom while he sleeps on the couch in the livingroom.   He bought me a kitten so I wouldn't so alone. WHich I apprepriate because I love him dearly, but it doesn't replace him. He has put a fear in me. I live near a mall and he told me how many car break ins there were, how many girls were raped, and so on. So I don't even want to leave me apartment.   I am just so sad and alone. I just want him to be around with me. This is the last week he has to go to school, and he swears he will be better. But I doubt it. I told him how I feel, and he says that I am just over dramatic. I told him I wished he knew how I felt, how hard it was. But he didn't care. I am just so sad. -- Posted by Reefer at 5:50 pm on July 21, 2008 I love your avi. And. Therapist? -- Posted by 4est at 5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 Sounds like you're in a terrible relationship. -- Posted by zamrambo at 5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 Not a fun situation.  Maybe try meeting new people around you? -- Posted by lingerie gurl at 5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from Reefer at 5:50 pm on July 21, 2008 I love your avi. And. Therapist? I am going to therapy. -- Posted by UpYourBum at 5:52 pm on July 21, 2008 Your Fiance goes to school and work? -- Posted by Lally at 5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 You should tell him what you just told us. -- Posted by sdkarr at 5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 Ah, I'm so sorry. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you are feeling and what you are going through?? -- Posted by xwhylovewhyhatex at 5:53 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from 4est at 5:51 pm on July 21, 2008 Sounds like you're in a terrible relationship. I think it sounds like that too. -- Posted by lingerie gurl at 5:54 pm on July 21, 2008 I have told him. I told him right now. Amd its like he doesn't care, he says I am having one of my swings. -- Posted by silverbullets at 5:55 pm on July 21, 2008 why dont you try and find a job. it would get you out of the house. -- Posted by porcelain at 5:55 pm on July 21, 2008 I don't really know what I could possibly say to make it better, I don't have much advice either... seeing as how you've already talked to him. Have you thought of maybe taking some online classes? Or doing something to atleast stimulate your mind so you don't feel like you're just sitting there wasting time? I can't possibly imagine how hard that would be, and I do sincerely hope he keeps his promise of spending more time with you once school is out. PM me if you ever need to talk. -- Posted by lingerie gurl at 5:57 pm on July 21, 2008 I am taking online courses with a private university, but it doesn't replace human contact. -- Posted by BOOM BOOM BOOMx3 at 5:57 pm on July 21, 2008 that sucks, i am so sorry. start some sort of project, get a job. you need to find more of a concrete purpose. -- Posted by branflakes at 6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 i don't mean to sound insensitive but can't you get crutches or something? -- Posted by iguana hunter1 at 6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 lock that muthafuka in tha closet & tell him 2 deel wit it, then rip his clothes off and F*** HIM AS HARD AS U CAN, or take the bus to ur parents house, leeeve his punk ass, he got a computer AND a hand, he'll figure it out -- Posted by lingerie gurl at 7:18 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from branflakes at 6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 i don't mean to sound insensitive but can't you get crutches or something? I am trying to learn how to walk -- Posted by branflakes at 7:25 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from lingerie gurl at 10:18 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from branflakes at 6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 i don't mean to sound insensitive but can't you get crutches or something? I am trying to learn how to walk what do you mean -- Posted by lingerie gurl at 10:30 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from branflakes at 7:25 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from lingerie gurl at 10:18 pm on July 21, 2008 Quote: from branflakes at 6:00 pm on July 21, 2008 i don't mean to sound insensitive but can't you get crutches or something?    I am trying to learn how to walk what do you mean All my muscles on my right leg have atrophied, meaning no muscles. So I have to rebuild them before I can actually walk.