-- Posted by buddripz at 12:29 pm on July 22, 2008 So my gf of 2.5 years recently decided she wanted to go on a "break" for the rest of the summer before going back to school.  She wants to figure things out.  (see my last post- I was in europe for 10 months and things were hard for both of us and she feels its hard to just bounce back into things because we both have changed).   How is one to go about this whole 'break' thing.  I have decided to not call her or bother her until she decides to call me.  But honestly, how can I go from speaking to someone who is my best friend every day for the last 2.5 years to not speaking to her at all.  Its SO hard already and its only been a few days now.   By giving a girl space and not being whiny or clingly, does that sometimes help the situation? Any advice on how to make this work would be great. Thanks -- Posted by devinx33 at 12:31 pm on July 22, 2008 Quote: from buddripz at 12:29 pm on July 22, 2008 So my gf of 2.5 years recently decided she wanted to go on a "break" for the rest of the summer before going back to school. She wants to figure things out. (see my last post- I was in europe for 10 months and things were hard for both of us and she feels its hard to just bounce back into things because we both have changed). How is one to go about this whole 'break' thing. I have decided to not call her or bother her until she decides to call me. But honestly, how can I go from speaking to someone who is my best friend every day for the last 2.5 years to not speaking to her at all. Its SO hard already and its only been a few days now. By giving a girl space and not being whiny or clingly, does that sometimes help the situation? Any advice on how to make this work would be great. Thanks sometimes that helps, but other times not talking to her could make you two grow apart. -- Posted by Loud Dog at 12:33 pm on July 22, 2008 Hate to be obvious but a "break" is normally just the run up to ending a relationship. All you can really do is treat her like any other friend, not your girlfriend, and just hope like hell for the best. -- Posted by camillelong 26 at 12:37 pm on July 22, 2008 i wouldnt obsessively call her but call her some so she know you're still there and still want the relationship..besides if shes your best friend you shouldnt have to stop talking to her -- Posted by Webbie at 12:38 pm on July 22, 2008 i hate to say this but from what i know, when a girl isnt talking to her bf...is because shes found some one else. You should really keep in contact...but only a little bit as shes on a "break". -- Posted by branflakes at 1:48 pm on July 22, 2008 her wanting a "break" means that you should man up and "break" up with her -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 2:57 pm on July 22, 2008 her wanting a "break" means that you should man up and "break" up with her Not neccessarily. Sometimes, 'taking a break' means just that. The girl needs some time to herself. Maybe she's having problems with family, or with friends, or with herself. She has to deal with those, before she can continue to date. i hate to say this but from what i know, when a girl isnt talking to her bf...is because shes found some one else. Not neccessarily, again. See above. -- Posted by Loud Dog at 2:57 pm on July 22, 2008 True, but after two and a half years that explanation doesn't really work. -- Posted by Webbie at 3:10 pm on July 22, 2008 Maybe she's having problems with family, or with friends, or with herself A friend of mine and his gf split up over that. So i guess we are both right in ways.   -- Posted by branflakes at 9:22 pm on July 22, 2008 Quote: from TigressaLynnMae at 5:57 pm on July 22, 2008 her wanting a "break" means that you should man up and "break" up with her Not neccessarily. Sometimes, 'taking a break' means just that. The girl needs some time to herself. Maybe she's having problems with family, or with friends, or with herself. She has to deal with those, before she can continue to date. not necessarily? a girl can get "time to herself" while still dating a guy but just not spending as much time around him. generally, if a girl is attracted to a guy, she will want to be around him and taking a "break" means that this is no longer the case. if he gets the balls to move away from her rather than let her move first, chances are that she will realize that he's not needy (which is the opposite of what he's showing her right now) and probably come back to him. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 7:22 am on July 23, 2008 not necessarily? a girl can get "time to herself" while still dating a guy but just not spending as much time around him. generally, if a girl is attracted to a guy, she will want to be around him and taking a "break" means that this is no longer the case. if he gets the balls to move away from her rather than let her move first, chances are that she will realize that he's not needy (which is the opposite of what he's showing her right now) and probably come back to him. When I'm attracted to anyone, that doesn't mean I want to be around them, 24/7. I need time to myself, sometimes. And, sometimes, that means a lengthy break. When I'm having problems, with myself, and my family, me and mine come first. The boyfriend/girlfriend comes next in line, but they have to understand, I'm going to pull back. A 'break' will be taken. 'Break' can easily be in the same level as 'time to herself'. It depends on how you define it. For me, 'taking a break' means just that: Taking some time, away from my partner. A week, a month, a year, however long it takes. When a girl, or a guy, makes the decision to 'take a break', the partner/significant other HAS to respect that. The other side would expect the same in return. -- Posted by Aratal at 11:57 am on July 29, 2008 Personally, this "break" I'm on hasn't done much for either of us. We're still talking to each other and still have feelings for each other. But yeah, giving her some space is pretty much all you can do until she feels she's ready. Maybe I should start doing that as well. Time to do some self reflecting. -- Posted by daveythewavey19 at 4:04 pm on July 29, 2008 Quote: from Loud Dog at 12:33 pm on July 22, 2008 Hate to be obvious but a "break" is normally just the run up to ending a relationship. All you can really do is treat her like any other friend, not your girlfriend, and just hope like hell for the best. Not true. My friend was on a 'break' for about a month and got back together with her again and is still with her. But yea, this sounds like it's over. You might want to just tell her to fuck off. Then she'll end up wanting you again anyway. Girls love the jerk.