-- Posted by amandaaa321 at 9:49 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 i never thought i would be looking for an answer on the internet but theres no one to talk to and after keeping evrything inside for 10 years i dont know how much longer i can last. its weird how you can put on a happy face and go through life without anyone noticing who you really are and how bad your truly hurting inside.  this sounds so cliche haha wow im so sick of everything i cant remember tthe last time i was really happy i fuck up everything i ever try to do for myself, i am just so incredibly unhappy with myself not because i think im ugly or i cant pass school or im an alcoholic but because of something even worse..i never do anything for me everything i do is because its what other people want me to do...my parents wanted me to do well in school and get into a good college and now im leaving to go to the university of arizona in 4 days-dont want to go never wanted to and its not because they are making me i just do what i think will make them happy, same reason i have and could never tell them my real feelings and how fucked up i am......god this is retarded i cant even express my real fucking feelings this is just a bunch of pointless rambling and little tidbits of all the shit running through my mind 24/7 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  FUCKKKKK!!!!!!! -- Posted by californication at 9:50 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 If I were you, I would take a year off from college if it is going to make you this unhappy. do what you want to do for a year, and then get your life in order. -- Posted by 321go at 9:51 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 Never too late to change that. -- Posted by silverbullets at 9:51 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 your lucky you get to go to college. -- Posted by Violently Happy at 9:51 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 I WISH I COULD GO TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!! -- Posted by muffin666 at 9:52 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 So. I didn't see any actual explanation for your crazy emotions? OOoooh, your parents wanted you to do well for yourself and you did. Boo hoo? -- Posted by m8ggi3 at 9:55 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 most ppl r fucked up in at least 1 way. -- Posted by rainfall at 9:55 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 I know what you mean by putting on a smile, and know one knowing who you really are, and how much pain you have inside. If you would ever like to talk, you can email me. I will be here if you ever need someone to listen. Also try and express your feelings more, bottleing them up for years won't solve your problems; it will only make them worse, trust me on that. Soon all your emotions will over flow that wall you've built inside. Try and sit down with your parents and discuss the issue, they might understand. You never know until you try. Best of luck. =) -- Posted by rachrach at 10:00 pm on Aug. 12, 2008 Quote: from rainfall at 12:55 am on Aug. 13, 2008 I know what you mean by putting on a smile, and know one knowing who you really are, and how much pain you have inside.   If you would ever like to talk, you can email me. I will be here if you ever need someone to listen.   Also try and express your feelings more, bottleing them up for years won't solve your problems; it will only make them worse, trust me on that. Soon all your emotions will over flow that wall you've built inside.   Try and sit down with your parents and discuss the issue, they might understand. You never know until you try.   Best of luck. =)