-- Posted by ElephantStone at 12:45 pm on Aug. 16, 2008 Most SL's on here talk about helping people and then having a few people that they follow closely and develop a relationship with, and help out on a regular basis. I would like that. I'm an exception to this. My helpful replies are few and far between really. I don't develop emotional relationships easily, and when I do they are very strong. I find it very exhaustive to sit down and look at an ehelp and see a long block of text and having to really get into this person's life. I usually end up seeing parallels between their life and my life, and that pisses me off. Cos I see their weaknesses and I see my own weaknesses and they're very much the same often. Its like confronting my own life again. Their insecurities highlight my own. SLs here talk about the help they give their "favourites", for lack of a better word, as relaxing for them, and helps them in turn...I would very much like that. What sickens me though is that really they're doing it for themselves, and its almost like a come and go basis for them. Ive had a couple take a bizarre interest in me and they were just interested din it as a distraction. I'm not a very troubled person. In fact I'm ok, I just like to have someone to talk to b/c I haven't really got anyone. But is it worthwhile? I don't want this topic to be about me, thats not what I'm getting at? But is it satisfying and interesting to actively help someone. Does it make you forget your on shit, or does it weigh you down? I don't want stories on how it scares you when you think someone committed suicide or shit like that. Just the practicalities. -- Posted by Corrupted Innocence at 12:53 pm on Aug. 16, 2008 I admit i reply to people to ignore my own problems, and few people know that i really don't care about myself enough to look into my own life. It's great to know i'm continuely supporting someone however i really don't do it for myself. Sometimes it has an affect of weighing me down as I do become worried about how their life is going however it's the sort of person i am. -- Posted by Stand Up at 1:14 pm on Aug. 16, 2008 Personally I try to help when I think I've been in a similar situation or can feel empathetic. Just because I understand what It's like to be in that place... Although just yesterday I saw an ehelp that was really similar to the situation I'm in right now and I couldn't bring myself to reply to it because I can't even help myself.  I couldn't even read it completely because It was like a shaded reflection of what I have and that made me scared, hopeless, insecure, frustrated, etc. (I guess that's what happens when you try too much to reach for perfection.. And then nothing seems near perfection.) and I just busted into tears and went to my dark place. I guess i don't really understand it. I wish I could have helped that person but I'm not able to do it for him/her or myself. I guess I don't always do what I preach - doesn't mean I don't try - when I make ehelps and give advise. Makes me a hypocrite (perhaps but who isnt?) because I sometimes tell people to keep going, find help, get up and keep walking (that type of things) and when it comes to me it's another story... But I kinda think sometimes people just need some reassurance or something around that area. I try to give it because I understand that nobody should feel like shit (even though most of us do.. And some fix it easier than others) .. I suppose it kinda gives me a couple of minutes of perspectives in my own life. It's hard to explain it to be honest but I suppose it helps sometimes and that's good. Makes me happy that at least someone is getting something out of my personal hide and seek.