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Printable Version of Topic "HELP ME my bf is having problems"

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-- Posted by Anonymous at 2:48 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

i dont know what to do with my boyfriend of 6 years. his mom dad and cousin were in a terrible car accident on the way to our high school graduation and they were hit by an 18wheeler.

his cousin died instantly and his dad was brain dead when he got to the hostpital and didnt make it through the night they thought his mom would recover and even be out of the hostpital within a week.

the next morning she was in a coma on life support the doctors told him it was his decision to leave her on or take her off but she would never be normal agian, he choose to take her off life support and then there was nothing anyone could do she layed in the hostpital for three weeks until her body got so week she died.

he wasnt at the hostpital at the time he had gone home to take a shower and then come back iwas there when she passed away. he was extremely close to his family exspecially his mother. so i know this is an extremely hard time for him.

we are living together now and so im around him all the time. but when im with him he always acts like nothing ever happened and i asked him he wanted to talk and he was like who cares.

were both at the same college but have classes aat different times and i went to my class yesterday and came home earlier than he thought and i heard him crying his eyes out. but i guess he heard me come up the hall and he acted like nothing happened.

then later that night we were going to go to dinner with some of his other family and when he went to take a shower i heard him crying agian. i asked him if he was alright and he was like im fine why wouldnt i be.

I went to the funeral with him and i cried alot there but he didnt shed one tear why? why does he play it off like nothings wrong when im around? but then when im not cry his eyes out? i thought we were really close and he could tell me anything but i guess he doesnt think so, whats wrong with him? please help i need it. would you reccomend breaking up with him, would that help why, or why not?


-- Posted by robdude at 2:52 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

leave him be, he will handle it his way


-- Posted by kristajoe2009 at 2:52 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

i definitely don't think you should break up w/ him. I don't really understand why you thought you should.... just be there for him, i'm sure he's not crying around you or other ppl b/c he wants to come off as manly, not like a pussy... know what i mean? just continue to be there for him, i would want you to be there for me if i was in the same situation....


-- Posted by ladybughope at 2:53 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

no dont break up with him. when you know that he's crying walk in and just hug him and tell him you are there for him and that he can talk to you about anything


-- Posted by Karaden at 2:53 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

Do not break up with him! Are you insane???

Men usually have a higher tendency to hide their crying due to the wrongful stereotyping of generations telling us that showing emotions is wrong and weak.

He is probably having troubles dealing with his emotions and doesn't know exactly what to feel beyond the overwhelming hurt. It is a lot to take in at one time. Therefore, he will cling to the happy past that he has with you and hide the fact that he is hurting from you. In private, he will try to work out his feelings on his own.

Basically, just be there for him and try to keep his mind off of it. Make sure that he knows that you are for him and he will eventually open up. Other than that, there isn't much you can do. (Besides not printing in block text... )


-- Posted by revolutionoflove at 2:54 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

don't break up with him. That won't do any good. He may feel as if he has to be strong. And he may not feel comfortable crying around anyone. Everyone is different and have different ways of showing emotions. But the worst thing that you could do at this moment is break up with him. He needs you even if he says he doesn't. He Does!!!


-- Posted by miimii at 2:54 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

Nothing is wrong with him. He's simply sad and wants to look stronger. Maybe he thinks crying is for girls? Or he doesn't want people to look at him when he's crying?  

I would maybe leave him alone for a little while so he could cry out. And let him know you're there for him.

(Leave him alone as in, let him be alone in his room for a while. And it would be a super bitch thing to break up with him right now.)


-- Posted by blessedbeaut8 at 2:55 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

do not break up with!!! that's stupid

just be your best by just being there.

if he doesnt want to talk about it, it's okay.
one day he might. he's just not ready


-- Posted by ErnestoTheTrippyOne at 2:56 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

I think I might kinda know what to do. It probably wont fix everything but it'll help. Send me a message.


-- Posted by Danarper at 3:08 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

this is exactly me what  he needs is to know your there for him its not that he cant talk to you

its that he wants to handle it his own way and not affect everyone else he just needs time


-- Posted by Anonymous at 3:10 pm on Aug. 19, 2008

okay i spaced it out


-- Posted by EarthEmpire at 3:48 pm on Sep. 14, 2008

Definitely don't break up with him, that's insensitive. He lost all his family and now he would lose you. Stick by him and let him know you're there and will help. Give him time to work with himself and don't invade his personal thinking space too much.


-- Posted by Wolfmanjack at 9:53 pm on Sep. 15, 2008

Don't break up with him.

Us guys tend not like show emotions in front of others (especially women we are attracted too.) Mainly because it is still perceived as a weakness.

But be there for him and support him.


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