-- Posted by Anonymous at 10:58 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 I feel so fucking miserable.. for the past year I've been basically clinically depressed, but I refuse to see a doctor or any other proffesional. I'm one of those people who thinks that if it comes on it's own, it leaves on it's own. The reason for that depression was a fight I had with my best friend in which I got accused in just seeing her as a sex object. That fucked me up and every time I see something related to sex now, it starts some thought pattern that heavily depresses me. And it's taking extreme forms, like I've even thought of slicing through the connections by testicles have with my body. Or at least hope I hit them... I've actually sat down with a knife aimed there... The only solution I can think of is fixing my thought pattern, but for that I'd need a girl to make sure that my thought pattern doesn't go there and helps me maintain it for at least 2 or 3 months or so... But I'm too much of a social outcast and too unattractive for that ever to work. I'm fat, underweight, shy and not easy to start a conversation with... But I know that it's just a matter of weeks now before this situation is going to kill me.... I wish I was exagerating with that.. but I'm not. -- Posted by therave39 at 10:59 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Look at kittens, that always cheers me up -- Posted by abbeyqtpi at 10:59 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Just go see a doctor.. Not much LW can do, I think.. -- Posted by MicrowavedNoodles at 11:00 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 How can you be fat and underweight? -__- -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:00 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from MicrowavedNoodles at 11:00 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 How can you be fat and underweight? -__- Having a big ass stomache and fucking up your diet and your life to be underweight... -- Posted by HXC at 11:01 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 go look at a nerdy kid. they make me feel better. -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:02 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from HXC at 11:01 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 go look at a nerdy kid. they make me feel better. real fucking helpfull... -- Posted by SaintKris at 11:10 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 I feel depressed sometimes to. Its just a constant circle that tears at your mind till you cant take it. I suggesr medical attention, i completely understand you by all means DO NOT want doctors in this. You can continue to try to do this yourself but if it gets really bad PLEASE PROMISE ME you will at least consider medical help. I mean what will it hurt. Pm if you would like to talk in further. -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 It's actually in my behaviour now to be depressed, that's the problem. Like, if you make yourself say "yes" everytime you hear "no", it becomes part of your nature. I've been depressed for so long that this is now part of my nature.. it's no longer a cycle or anything... But I am not oging to seek medical help, I'm sorry. They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance. -- Posted by SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance. Can you tell me more about this ^ -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:19 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance. Can you tell me more about this ^ I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia. -- Posted by SaintKris at 11:27 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:19 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.    Can you tell me more about this ^ I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia. Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.   -- Posted by Anonymous at 11:29 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from SaintKris at 11:27 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.   I really don't trust doctors anymore... and anti-depresscents won't help. Even feremones don't help any more, because my body sees this as normal now.. stuff like anti-depresscents rely on that the body sees it as an unnormal situation. -- Posted by SaintKris at 11:31 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:19 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from SaintKris at 11:16 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 11:13 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 They've severely fucked me up once, I'm not giving them another chance.    Can you tell me more about this ^ I once went to them about back complaints that I had. The doctor starting poking and feeling and all that crap basically said that there was a musscle twisted and that he would fix it. I spend the next 6 weeks having even worse backpain than before seeing that doctor and once I heard what it was, I hated the doctor so much more. With his poking and shit, he fucking gave me a hernia. Get a new doctor, plus this is completely different. All they can do is give you antidepresscents.   -- Posted by rainfall at 11:43 pm on Aug. 20, 2008 Hello. I'm very sorry for what you have had to go through. Normally I can tell someone I know how they feel, but I've never felt something like that. It may also have something to do with me being a girl. I am not a professional, just letting you know in case. If you would ever like to talk, I'm here for you. You can email me, or send me a message on here. I just wanted you to know that there's someone here who wants to try and help you. I hope you can overcome this. The only person who can over power those feelings is yourself, people can only encourage you to.