-- Posted by Anonymous at 12:36 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 My boyfriend is a virgin and last night we had sex for the first time. But he went soft and said that it "felt alright" but that he just couldn't get off. He wasn't even close to coming! Do you think it's the condom? What can we do? -- Posted by sidekick k at 12:37 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 foreplay? -- Posted by SuperSarah at 12:37 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 he might have been just nervous -- Posted by tiara at 12:37 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 No its not the condom its you...its his first so relax...everyone needs a lil bit of practice -- Posted by XxHeroHeroinexX at 12:37 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 yes, comdoms tend to do that -- Posted by yoshiness at 12:37 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 Ummm... nothing? -- Posted by bexz10 at 12:45 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 i agree..he might of just been nervous -- Posted by nikki at 12:45 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 He was probably just nervous. It happens to a lot of guys. I'd suggest a lot of foreplay before even trying to have sex. -- Posted by Anonymous at 12:46 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 He was not nervous at all! He said so himself. =( -- Posted by nikki at 1:03 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 Quote: from Anonymous at 8:46 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 He was not nervous at all! He said so himself. =( Maybe not conciously. But I'm assuming you weren't a virgin - that's a lot of pressure for a guy. -- Posted by Johvanni at 2:09 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 Well if you know that he is a virgin and you are one....Then take that condom off and let him please you first to get you wet and let him slip right in.....Its not just...okay here spread my legs and fuck me....lol -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 8:09 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 Then take that condom off and let him please you first to get you wet and let him slip right in..... First off, you just gave THE worse advice ANYONE ever could. Virgin or not, you don't take off the condom. You wear it. Sometimews I wonder how some of you people end up in the College Forums, when, truthfully, you belong in the Teen Forums. -- Posted by Zlog at 12:52 am on Aug. 23, 2008 if you're on the pill, take off the condom. Condom gives me a lot of trouble, and always has. Tends to get too slick in there and i dont get any friction and no friction = hard to keep it up. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 8:09 am on Aug. 23, 2008 if you're on the pill, take off the condom. Condom gives me a lot of trouble, and always has. Tends to get too slick in there and i dont get any friction and no friction = hard to keep it up Seriously? "If you're on the pill, don't use a condom." That's, now, officially, the worse advice anyone could ever give. You ALWAYS use a condom. I don't care if you're infertile, it protects against diseaes. The pill is merely a protection against birth/pregnancy. You don't want an STD/HIV, do ya? If not, use a damned condom. Condoms are devised to where the male can keep a hard on. If the condom is the problem, then I hate to break it to you...it's not the condom having issues. It's meant to be used on a hard dick. It's the male having issues. -- Posted by lucky015 at 3:05 am on Aug. 25, 2008 Quote: from Johvanni at 2:09 pm on Aug. 22, 2008 Well if you know that he is a virgin and you are one....Then take that condom off and let him please you first to get you wet and let him slip right in.....Its not just...okay here spread my legs and fuck me....lol Its not???? Damn, I love it when my gf says that!!! -- Posted by lucky015 at 3:07 am on Aug. 25, 2008 Jesus, If you want to get pedantic about it, go to the doctor, get the bloody tests, get the pill and fuck without the condom!!!, Personally i hate the fucking things, they take most of the pleasure out of sex!!! -- Posted by tearsinheaven at 9:16 pm on Aug. 27, 2008 wow...everyone has kind of flipped over the condom thing! my opinion about the OP: he was probably nervous whether he realised it or not. i mean, it's his first time, how could he not be nervous? and it could have been the condom - if it was too tight, or whatever. or try the really thin ones next time? and now my opinion about the condom debate: if you're on birth control, AND you've both been tested for STIs, then at your discretion you might choose not to use a condom. people rely on only one method of birth control all the time and are fine. that said, all these guys bitching about condoms, seriously guys, get a life. would you rather not have sex at all? didn't think so. besides, there are some incredibly thin condoms out there, and if they fit you properly, they shouldn't pose any issue. -- Posted by nik1 at 2:20 pm on Aug. 28, 2008 Probably happens more than guys are willing to admit.  Erections have a mind of their own.  Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't work the way they should.  So many things affect them; alcohol, drugs, medications, pressure, nervousness, lack of privacy or fear of getting caught, fear of pregnancy and most common fear of not being as good as the girl expects.  It's the male ego on stage and if it doesn't work it is devastating to a guys fragile ego.  Fear of the girl telling everyone that he couldn't get it up and the word spreading to his buddies will be a final blow. -- Posted by Anonymous at 10:07 pm on Aug. 29, 2008 I stopped taking the pill and just recently got back on it. My doctor told me I had to wait a month before I could have unprotected sex. That is why we haven't tried it without the condom... although we will when I"m ready. We've tried the very thin ones too, didn't work. He put it in one time without the condom, said it felt good but I'm not sure, I think he might've lied. I'm just afraid he won't like how sex feels with me.... -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 8:19 am on Aug. 30, 2008 and now my opinion about the condom debate: if you're on birth control, AND you've both been tested for STIs, then at your discretion you might choose not to use a condom. people rely on only one method of birth control all the time and are fine. that said, all these guys bitching about condoms, seriously guys, get a life. would you rather not have sex at all? didn't think so. besides, there are some incredibly thin condoms out there, and if they fit you properly, they shouldn't pose any issue. You apparently do not know that, depending upon one form of protection, over more than one form, is a flawed argument. Take me, for example. I used a Vaginal Contraceptive Foam, and he used a Trojan Spermicidal. Together, they covered 99.9999999%, whereas, one over the other, only covered 95-98%. Which one do you think you'd want to go for? A risk of 4-5%, or a risk of .1%? Common sense, folks. The pill does not cover sexually transmitted diseases. Some condoms don't cover sexually trasnmitted diseases. Better to use one that covers for pregnancy (ex: VCF) and one that covers for stds (Trojan Spermicidal). One person does not equate the whole. Just b/c you (general terming) haven't gotten pregnant, or gotten an STD, doesn't mean that your mode is the best. The best mode is the proven use of both. The risks far outweight anything else.