-- Posted by Miden at 1:57 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 1) How do men look at women? Women think they know , which amazes me. women will always say, "Hey, we look at guys sexually, too." You have no idea. Its like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. Trust me ladies, if you had any idea, even for a secound, of how we really looked at you, you would never stop slapping us.-- Larry Miller 2)- Women are always looking for men who dont exist. "I want an outdoorsy guy whos hilarious."   What? If you combine those two things, you would not like it---rodeo clowns. Outdoorsy, hilarious, alcoholic, and wanted. Then there's the girl, "I just want a guy who will give and give and give, and not want sex in return." I actually know this guy. His names Grandpa--and he has your nose.-- Dave Attell 3)-- They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime, but I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that. "Want some more homemade Sprite?" "Not till you figure out what the f*ck else is in it".--Mitch Hedberg 4)--Goldilocks...I dont like that one, because she breaks into these people's house. She comes into the bear's house, she's eating their porridge, she's like, "Ooo, this is too hot." B*tch, this ain't even your food.-  Tony Woods 5) Every woman I meet, for some reason, I end up being the friend. Having a woman as just a friend is like having $19 in the bank and looking at your ATM card. You can see it. You know it's there. You just ain't getting to it.-  Alonzo Bodden. -- Posted by Periwinkle at 1:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 I didn't find any of them funny. -- Posted by CherryxBomb at 2:01 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 haha i cracked up a little lol -- Posted by zombie4life at 2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 haha, I loled. -- Posted by King Kong at 2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 are they supposed to be funny -- Posted by ang42490424 at 2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 they are ok -- Posted by Miden at 2:08 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Quote: from Periwinkle at 3:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 I didn't find any of them funny. -- Posted by Periwinkle at 2:09 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Quote: from Miden at 10:08 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Quote: from Periwinkle at 3:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 I didn't find any of them funny. -- Posted by duesxmachina at 5:46 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 "one time, i shoved an altoid up my ass. (laughter) actually, that's it." zach galiafinakus