-- Posted by Anonymous at 6:14 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 I'm 21 and as the title makes clear  I'm a virgin, I never learned how to talk to girls in highschool and when I went off to college I went to one that had a 70/30 m to f ratio and of those 30% females about 5 percent were single and moderately attractive ( now I'm not picky when it comes to looks but I do have a limit). I learned how to talk to girsl while at college but I never got very far because it was so hard to meet them. But now I met this girl and I really like her, we have been dating for about a   month and it just recently got serous. I dont know how to tell her that I have never had a girlfriend and also that I am a virgin. Its not that I'm afraid she will do something horrible or anything she is one of the kindest people I have ever met, but its not an easy subject to address, also since I don't look like the virgin type it would catch her off guard (by that I mean I am an attractive guy I just never learned what to do or say when I was young). I don't want to freak her out or anything.     -- Posted by atomictastic at 6:16 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Just tell her... it shouldn't be that hard...I would tell the whole world I'm a virgin because I'm proud -- Posted by fleastar at 6:16 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 well wheneveryour ready but b prepaired for backlash as she may take it offencivly -- Posted by LilyGoth at 6:17 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Oh, just say it out in the open. Its nothing to be ashamed about, just say to her "hey, by the way, I'm a virgin". Who knows, maybe your girl is a virgin too? -- Posted by XxshadowdancerxX at 6:17 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 There is nothing wrong with having your v card! I can tell you that sometimes girls feel intimidated by "well seasoned" men. -- Posted by randomrocks at 6:17 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 pm me if you want to tlk -- Posted by LEONIDOS at 6:17 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 sounds like you really get on just tell her shell understand -- Posted by yunasfinalfantasy at 6:18 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 Just be up front with her, but make her know that if you are not interested in losting that status that you don't want to lose it. -- Posted by Pdiamond at 6:19 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 i guess it really is true... "Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity" -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 4:57 am on Sep. 4, 2008 Tell her when you're ready. I mean, before you have sex, would be nice. :P -- Posted by Chino at 11:17 am on Sep. 4, 2008 I am not sure if telling a girl you are a virgin is a great idea specially if you are planning to have sex with her.  Do you really know of any girl who finds it exciting and completely fine to fuck with a virgin?  I have read here many times of girls who rather avoid a virgin guy complaining that they must be terrible in bed. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 12:22 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 Quote: from Chino at 2:17 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 I am not sure if telling a girl you are a virgin is a great idea specially if you are planning to have sex with her.  Do you really know of any girl who finds it exciting and completely fine to fuck with a virgin?  I have read here many times of girls who rather avoid a virgin guy complaining that they must be terrible in bed. Virginity, or lack of, shouldn't matter. Love and lust are two different things. If a girl can't accept a male's virginity, or vice versa, there's more of a problem than the social construct of virginity. -- Posted by Chino at 2:16 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 I am a virgin BY CHOICE and not because I can't score.  I'll go out on dates, hook up, and every other thing any normal guy would do but when it comes to sex I have my convictions.  I don't hide it so whenever the topic comes out or whatever, MOST girls look at me with disgust or in a weird way thinking I am homosexual, something is wrong with me, etc.  Or just tell me there's no way they would go out with a guy that doesn't give them sex.  Even think that I will be the most terrible guy in bed. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 6:51 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 I am a virgin BY CHOICE and not because I can't score And that relates to this thread, how? , MOST girls look at me with disgust or in a weird way thinking I am homosexual, something is wrong with me, etc.  Or just tell me there's no way they would go out with a guy that doesn't give them sex.  Even think that I will be the most terrible guy in bed. I'm so glad I was raised into the atmosphere where virginity doesn't matter, but the people doing it, does. -- Posted by Chino at 7:19 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 Being a virgin BY CHOICE does relate because one of the many assumptions a girl can make about a virgin guy is that he is a virgin because he has no luck with girls, nobody likes him, he's gay, etc.  I have heard all kinds of stuff.  That is why I have mentioned that its not really THAT necessary to tell a girl about it. So virginity doesn't matter to you? It doesn't matter to pretty much anybody.  That is why it makes no sense to most people to wait until marriage and many even look down on those who decide to wait.     -- Posted by fantazia at 8:06 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 What do you mean you don't look like a virgin, virgins don't have 1 standard look. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 8:44 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 Being a virgin BY CHOICE does relate because one of the many assumptions a girl can make about a virgin guy is that he is a virgin because he has no luck with girls, nobody likes him, he's gay, etc.  I have heard all kinds of stuff.  That is why I have mentioned that its not really THAT necessary to tell a girl about it. The reason it may be necessary is that it would signify inexperience, and places where the other party, experienced as they may be, may have to teach the lacking party. I know my guy knew I was a virgin, by choice, because I told him, that way, he knew where I would fault, and where I would need help. Again, the assumptions those girls make are based upon petty media and stereotype. Those girls don't exist, in my world, thank the Goddess Above. No, virginity does not matter to me. Virginity is just virginity. I lost mine, to a great guy, and, even though he hurt me, and didn't love me, as I love him, I don't regret it. Now, though, I wouldn't have sex, with anyone that didn't love me back, as I loved them,but the past is the past. You can't change it. Why would anyone look down on anyone who decides to wait? Gods, I would hate to live where you live, where ignorant people reside, apparently... -- Posted by Chino at 11:16 pm on Sep. 4, 2008 Yep, bad experiences can suck of course but they do teach us a lot.  I hope you are just fine, well, you do sound like you are fine now :) . Ignorant people are EVERYWHERE.  The topic of a virgin guy has come out on this forum and many many people pretty much look down on a guy who's a virgin.  Oh well, you don't think that way? cool. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 5:10 am on Sep. 5, 2008 Ignorant people are EVERYWHERE.  The topic of a virgin guy has come out on this forum and many many people pretty much look down on a guy who's a virgin.  Oh well, you don't think that way? cool. Ignorant people are only there, if you let them be there. I don't know one person who acts upon emotions and feelings the way you're describing. Virginity is virginity is virginity. Yep, bad experiences can suck of course but they do teach us a lot.  I hope you are just fine, well, you do sound like you are fine now :) . We learn from our mistakes. 'cept, I don't believe it was ever a mistake. -- Posted by JellyBean1 at 5:20 am on Sep. 5, 2008 Being a virgin is not bad. If she likes you it shouldnt bother her. It should be fun, she gets to teachs you something if she isnt a virgin. Somehow just start talking about someone else sex life, and then at a good time, just some say that you are a virgin, just make sure she doesnt think its cuz you couldnt get it..its that you didnt want to at the time! Sometimes its good to say that you were waiting for someone great and that you rly like, and that you like her and dont want to lose her over this. -- Posted by nik1 at 5:07 am on Sep. 6, 2008 Drop your ego and you will find out just how charming you are to girls.  There is no replacement for honesty.  Once you start living your life and dealing with truth, as not a flaw, your entire life will have a revolutionary meaning change.  It is so refreshing to look someone in the eyes and say, "As difficult as this is to tell you I have never had sex before."   "In fact you are the only girl that I have ever felt this comfortable with(only if true)....hope you accept me for who I am." -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 6:22 am on Sep. 6, 2008 "As difficult as this is to tell you I have never had sex before." Why would it be difficult? -- Posted by Lillylove at 1:07 pm on Sep. 7, 2008 If I was with a boy and we were leading up to or about to have sex, the most I would want him to say is that he hasn't had a lot of experience. I don't need to know that he is a virgin and has never been in a girl before. This way I know that I need to help and lead him on and tell and show him what to do. I merely say "This is what I like or the way I like you to do it". Let him keep his masculine image and dignity. -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 2:32 pm on Sep. 7, 2008 Let him keep his masculine image and dignity And, again, virginity does NOT define those images and dignity. The MAN defines those images and dignity! -- Posted by lucky015 at 3:08 am on Sep. 10, 2008 All my girl had to say wen i told her i was basically a virgin is "Well, Lets fix that then" and thats where all the fun began =) -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 5:31 am on Sep. 10, 2008 I was a virgin, when I met my guy, and I told him that, not because he needed to know, but because with that, he could teach me the ways of sex, and guide me along that path, and help me out, where and when I needed help. :) -- Posted by RachLeigh13 at 7:45 am on Sep. 10, 2008 If a guy I were dating told me he was a virgin, I'd pretty much be flattered. There's nothing to freak out over. If she's in to you, I don't think she'll care. You'll know when to tell her.  Honesty is very attractive.