-- Posted by Anonymous at 5:29 pm on Sep. 6, 2008 okay so i am 17 and i love both my best friend and my boyfriend but my best friend hates my boyfriend. she says she only hates him because hes an asshole but he's not at all. theres no reason at all for her to hate him. hes such a sweet guy & has never done anything wrong to her... yes he's very sarcastic but she knows that and that shouldn't effect anything. & i hate when she decides to say nasty comments about him to me. i just wanna tell her to keep it to herself if she doesnt like him but i also don't want her to get mad at me or think that im like choosing him over her or something of that sort. ya know? she also doesnt like that he's 20 and she thinks that he only wants me for sex.. but the thing is that hes asked about it & ive told him i dont want to just yet.. we havent been together that long and im no the type of person to do that. i know he cares for me im just not ready yet. and after he asks and respects that i know hes not only using me for sex because in all honesty hes not getting any sex from me? some people have been sayin that my best friend is just jealous but i do not know what to do... it just makes me feel so uncomfortable when im around them together.. i feel like i hafta make them both happy & we cant just have a good time.. i just want to be able to have a good time with my best friend all the time, even when my boyfriend is there<3 help me? -- Posted by audrey820 at 10:13 am on Sep. 8, 2008 Oh geez. That's such a hard situation. Trying to make your partner and best friend happy is almost always difficult. It's also usually more complicated than you think. I'm not sure if this is how your friend is feeling. But these are also usually underlying issues. She may be scared of losing you as a friend since you have a boyfriend now. A lot of friends feel threatened when a boyfriend enters the picture. If she's single, she may also be feeling like a third wheel and therefore jealous of your relationship. That doesn't mean she doesn't want to see you happy. It just means she wants that happiness for herself as well. I would suggest talking to her nicely. I know you're scared that she'll get offended and it will lead to a fight. But this won't be resolved until you guys talk about it. But instead of just criticizing her for what she has said to her, make sure you reassure her as well. Let her know how much she and your friendship mean to you. And then let her know how it feels when she comes down so hard on your boyfriend. And that while you appreciate that she's trying to protect you, she also has to trust your judgment and give the guy a chance. From there, I would just work on finding a balance. Spend some alone time with your friend, some with your guy and  a bit with both. Maybe try spending time in a group setting when the three of you will be together. Just for now. Then your friend won't feel like such a third wheel. She'll gradually get used to him once she starts to see him as a good guy. Hope this helps and she starts to relax more. :)