-- Posted by Anonymous at 2:43 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 i've been cutting for almost a year now. when i started i used a razor, but then i switched to scissors because they don't cut as deep and i don't want to bleed to death. well over the weekend i was cleaning my room and i found the razor. and i used it. and now i never want to settle for scissors again. i feel so out of control. i used to feel like cutting gave me control, but now it's like it's taken control of me. i can't stop. shit happens and cutting is the only way i can handle it. and if i don't cut i shake and i can't breath and then i cave in and do it anyway. i'm still breathing. i still have a pulse. but i feel so dead inside. i don't know what to do. i know i might need help. but the thing is, i have serious issues trusting adults. i can't talk to them and i won't. and ending up in rehab is my worst nightmare. it would ruin my life. rumors would fly around at school, i'd lose half my friends b/c they're not the type to deal with this shit, and my parents... they'd never trust me. it'll just reinforce my mom's idea that i'm a bad kid and a horrible selfish person. my family is very... unstable, and if they found out i cut it would just make things even worse. i just don't know what to do -- Posted by ManicD at 3:04 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 I'm the Author of THIS. I am a self harmer myself and have been mostly cut free for a while now. If you want to talk to me we can discuss yoru self harm and look at ways you can cut down or even stop your self harm if you want. feel free to PM me, with you being anon i cant do much else as i dont know what you have faced yoruself