-- Posted by Tavis at 4:40 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 Simply put, I'm a pushover. I realized it today when my friend said I was one, and have now realized I am quite a pushover. I try not to be, but people could do something like rip papers out of my binder, and I wouldn't do anything about it. I don't like it, I want to be able to stand up more often. No doubt I don't stand up, but it's when people aren't pushing me over, when I want to freighten them off. Halp? -- Posted by sarah is hot at 4:41 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 Thats exactly how I am. I let people walk over me all the time. We need to take a stand!!! -- Posted by neverjeeps at 4:41 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 me too, i don't know what i have been doing lately, but i've been less of one i know i've been saying no a lot more -- Posted by fleastar at 4:41 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 tell them to f off and if that dont work stand up and walk away -- Posted by jellybeana4 at 4:42 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 Turn black. -- Posted by Tavis at 4:43 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 Quote: from fleastar at 7:41 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 tell them to f off and if that dont work stand up and walk away That would be the greatest form of pushing over, leaving and letting them win. -- Posted by twililuv01 at 4:53 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 ya im the same way i have a hard time saying no!! :( -- Posted by Define Your Line at 5:08 pm on Sep. 8, 2008 Tavis, No one likes being a pushover so therefore, I understand where you're coming from.  I would consider you to be a close friend of mine and I really like you as a friend.  You're a really great guy and you're nice to everyone.  However, it's very unfortunate that people tend to take advantage of the nice people. You are a very nice person and would do just about anything for anyone.  Seeing that, it is easy for people to take advantage of you because you're a nice person.  It's so unfortunate that people stoop that low and walk all over the nice people because they *can.* What you have to understand is that there needs to be a healthy balance between being nice and standing up for yourself.  It's one thing to be a nice person but it's a total different thing when you get taken advantage of.  Not only is it unfair to you, but it also hurts a lot.  I sympathise with you on this because I know how you feel. You have to understand that there is a way to be nice and still stand up for yourself if you feel that someone else is taking advantage of you.  I know this can be hard to do, especially if you're used to *letting things slide.*  But you really should try and have more self-respect and realise that you're worth a lot more than you think and therefore don't deserve to be treated that way. I understand that you want to be nice to everyone because I feel the same way.  Unfortunately, the nice people are the ones who end up getting taken advantage of and therefore are the ones who end up getting hurt. A good first step would be to try and stick up for yourself even in a small situation.  For example, if you have lent money to a friend several times before and the friend hasn't paid you back yet, don't lend him money anymore.  This friend obviously keeps asking to borrow money from you because he knows you won't hassle him to pay it back and will most likely let it slide therefore, he won't have to pay you back. In a situation like this, when your friend asks you for money, you say *no* firmly.  If he doesn't understand or questions your decision, make up an excuse.  Tell him that you don't have any money or you are saving your money for something big (university, car, etc.)  Whatever the case is, you need to learn to stand up for yourself one step at a time. I hope I helped.  If you ever need anything or feel the need to discuss this further, feel free to message me any time as my inbox is always open.   Good luck and keep your chin up! DYL