-- Posted by Anonymous at 10:07 am on Sep. 11, 2008 i dont know what to do anymore. ive gotten so bad with all my paranoia that my girls starting to like become a jerk. i know i have issues and im trying to work them out, but its not that easy. i keep getting this gut feeling like shes gonna cheat on me she says that im obsessive and overbearing. when i ask her if shes gonna break up with me she says no, btu then when she asks me, she almost seems excited. not only is this girl my first lesbian experience, she took my virginity, and she is the first real relationship ive ever had. shes recently began telling my friends that i act like a kid in middle school. im a senior and im older than her, why would she be saying shit like this. im really hurt and idk how to deal with this. should i break up with her?? can anyone give me some advice on how to make it so im not so obsessive?? i feel like im ruining our relationship and i really wanna be with her. -- Posted by Khadgar at 10:15 am on Sep. 11, 2008 It's tough... The best thing you can do is practice the behaviors you want to have to yourself. It might sound silly, but the first step to obtaining or breaking a behavior is to simply do it. If you want to stop being so paranoid, the first step is to stop acting paranoid, no matter how you feel. Acting the part will help break the cycle and you will begin to feel less paranoid, which will cause you to act less paranoid, etc. It's an attraction thing. Think of it like this: If you smoke cigarettes, you're more likely to meet people who smoke cigarettes (you'll sit in the smoking section at a restaurant, you'll hang out by ashtrays, etc). If you stop smoking, you'll stop meeting smokers. Just as if you act paranoid, these behaviors will cause people around you to treat you as if you are paranoid which reinforces the internal belief that you are paranoid. I can imagine that my advice might seem hard to put in to motion, but once you start, it becomes self-perpetuating. Every time I start to feel sad, I just put on a smile. Soon enough, I feel better again, because I haven't attracted all the things that come with being sad. When you look sad, people avoid you, which certainly doesn't help you feel better. When you look cheerful, people who approach you are fun and upbeat!