-- Posted by forgotton at 10:10 am on Sep. 16, 2008 I've been friends with this girl for the last year when i first met her, i immediately developed a crush on her. but i knew she was straight and she had a boyfriend. so i left things alone but three weeks ago i went camping with her and her family and she was flirting and all over me. i had been drinking and things lead to one thing to another and we slept together. the next day when i realized what happened, i thought she would freak out, but she didn't she said it wasent cheating. by the end of the weekend she addmitted that she was falling for me and didn't know what to do. i told her she had to choose but i wouldn't push. over the last three weeks we've barely spent a day away from eachother. she tells me she wants to leave him, but doesent want to hurt him. three days ago he tells her that his father has aids and that she the only thing holding him together. they have been together for almost a year and a half and i don't know what to do. i've held her everynight since he told her about his dad as she crys herself to sleep. i'm falling in love with her, but being together is causing her pain, all i want is for her to be happy -- Posted by Hi Carie at 9:56 pm on Sep. 16, 2008 Hey, wow, what a rough situation. It sounds to me like a lot of this is out of your hands. I am not really sure what you are looking for, so I will just throw a couple of thoughts out there. First of all, its great for you to be there for your friend. It sounds like she is going through a lot of emotional pain/pressure right now as she tries to be strong for her boyfriend and needs someone to help her stay strong. It is important to realize however that people often seek out support in times of need and it is confused with love/desire. She needs strength and you are offering that to her through comfort. Give her space to figure out what she wants in a relationship apart from that. Second of all, time is a great miracle worker. You have to let her take the  time to figure out what she wants and try to move things forward. it is hard for people in these situations to move on, and so you need to brace yourself for the reality that she may never be ready to make the break. If that is the case, you need to decide how that is going to affect things. I am sorry for everything you guys are going through. I hope that it gets better.