-- Posted by Anonymous at 3:25 am on Sep. 19, 2008 I sid to myself last night that I would have no problems killing myself if it didnt let everyone else down. I looked in the mirror before I went to bed and just looked at myself. I looked at my muscles and how hard I worked to get them that toned. How Im not a big guy and yet in my platoon Im one of the strongest in it. How empty I am inside, where is my personality.... Last night I started hitting on a girl, she was 19 and pretty. It was absolutely terrible because talkign to her I noticed a ring on wedding finger. She was married, I asked her. And everyone else knew it and knew what I was doign and watching, because my friends and her friends are friends. I am such an asshole. Not only that, this american girl, who over the last couple of days has been really mean and putting me down. Shes a roomate of the girl I was hitting on. Pretty much everyone else hates this american girl, but she chooses to like them. She fucking hates me for some unkown reason. I am such a dick. Why me? EDIT: I was drunk last night. -- Posted by Aqueous at 3:26 am on Sep. 19, 2008 What happened to that Italian girl? -- Posted by haysues at 3:29 am on Sep. 19, 2008 americans suck. -- Posted by Anonymous at 3:30 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Quote: from jzbaby at 11:26 am on Sep. 19, 2008 What happened to that Italian girl? havent seen her lately. edit: havent talked to her in a week. -- Posted by LEONIDOS at 3:31 am on Sep. 19, 2008 it happens get over it -- Posted by effyouseakay at 3:36 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Talk to someone you really trust about how you feel. Don't let your emotions bottle up it'll only get worse. -- Posted by Jadien at 3:54 am on Sep. 19, 2008 You just need somebody you can trust to talk to. If you want to PM me, I'd really like to get to know you. You sound like a sweet guy who doesn't deserve the mistreatment. -- Posted by La Motta at 4:14 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Why did you think about killing yourself? -- Posted by Fouad at 5:02 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Quote: from haysues at 1:29 pm on Sep. 19, 2008 americans suck. but arent u one? -- Posted by Al Legator at 5:10 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Quote: from effyouseakay at 3:36 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Talk to someone you really trust about how you feel. Don't let your emotions bottle up it'll only get worse. I agree- the strength of the negative emotions you are feeling right now are dangerous to you and maybe others. As for hitting on a married woman, I did it once and it fortunately went no-where. I felt like crap too. I was also drunk and so was she.We both realised that where we were headed was wrong. You, the morning after, realise you were wrong. Learn from it-beating yourself up won't accomplish anything except reinforcing those negative emotions that you need to get a handle on. I'm sure that the armed force you are with has counsellors to talk to and can guide you to understandings and plans to help you get some meaning in your life. You wouldn't - I presume - define yourself as a jerk but you acted like one in the past. Change that, with help, and you'll be able to slowly become a person you can be proud of. -- Posted by x Janelle x at 10:08 am on Sep. 19, 2008 dont kill urself! -- Posted by haysues at 6:40 pm on Sep. 20, 2008 Quote: from fouad at 5:02 am on Sep. 19, 2008 Quote: from haysues at 1:29 pm on Sep. 19, 2008 americans suck. but arent u one? yes i am. so i would know first-hand.