-- Posted by Anonymous at 1:11 am on Sep. 21, 2008 I am not sure of myself right now. I want to just kill myself. All of the people I loved to loves fullest extent, hate me. Or they never bother to talk to me. It's depressing. They used to be everything. They're all I will ever have. I'm listening to voice mails from last week on my phone. It kills me. My best friend called to make sure I was okay. Last time he talked to me I was puking, but I told him it was the flu. He knew I was lying, but didn't bother to tell me he knew. My boyfriend.. Er well ex, had hung himself two days ago because he went to rehab, but relapsed two days ago and decided to leave me here to battle my own enemies. I'm staring at this knife and thinking of my mom. She had to experience one death of her offspring, and I'm selfishly wishing to kill myself. I am on the verge of tears at 4am in her room with a knife. She is at work and I am here. I just want it to end and it won't. -- Posted by hisgirl at 1:14 am on Sep. 21, 2008 i am sooo sorry.. -- Posted by wallopwoop at 1:14 am on Sep. 21, 2008 Doooood don't kill yourself, just getta big bowl of fruity pebbles and watch FRISKY DINGO! You will feel good. I promise. And remember these wise words when you are happy in your old age and come across a despairing young individual as you once were! -- Posted by kk327 at 1:18 am on Sep. 21, 2008 but you see, you said something there that was so right.  you said it won't end.  even if you do something, if someone finds out it just makes it worse.  why don't you call your mom or anyone you can talk to just to talk.  it doesn't matter what its about, sometimes even just talking about something completely stupid can help.  its ok to cry, but it might be good to take the knife out of your room though.  if you can, just wait one more day.  just try to sleep and then in the morning think about things.  its late/early and thinking isn't really the best right now.  i wish you the best of luck.  if you need anything, you can pm me.