-- Posted by Anonymous at 12:09 am on Sep. 24, 2008 Here's the full story: My gf was anorexic at the beginning of the summer (before i was dating her) due to a past insecurity and recovered, but her anorexia resurfaced about 3 days ago, since when she hadn't eaten. I've been dating her for about a month, and we're really starting to fall in love with each other. Her parents took her to the doctor today and now I'm not allowed to call her, or hang out with her outside of school until the problem is over. I like her enough that I'm willing to wait (though I can only handle a so much). Before I told her she's beautiful and that I obviously liked her the way she was when I asked her out (not anorexic). She said that me saying that helped her a lot. She also said that the fact that she has to do this to date me helps a lot, because she really likes me and wants to be with me. Here's my question: Should I try to avoid all contact with her at school until she recovers, or should I just keep acting like i like her as usual? I really have no idea if I should just continue the usual role of bf or if I should try to ignore her until she recovers. Everywhere I read that anorexics + relationships = bad. But I'm really not sure. Advice? -- Posted by blufindr at 12:12 am on Sep. 24, 2008 It all depends on what you think you can handle. Obviously, the ideal solution would be for you to stay with her; dumping her now may reinforce her inadequacy. However, if you really don't think you can handle it, break up with her now. Ignoring her will have the same effect as telling her she's fat and not good enough, at this point. -- Posted by Anonymous at 12:14 am on Sep. 24, 2008 Quote: from blufindr at 12:12 am on Sep. 24, 2008 It all depends on what you think you can handle. Obviously, the ideal solution would be for you to stay with her; dumping her now may reinforce her inadequacy. However, if you really don't think you can handle it, break up with her now. Ignoring her will have the same effect as telling her she's fat and not good enough, at this point. that's basically what i was thinking. and i'm gonna try to handle it, it's gonna be hard as fuck but i'm fairly confident i can last at least 2-4 weeks. EDIT: she said i'd probably be about 2 weeks before we could hang out again. -- Posted by PS2luvr at 12:15 am on Sep. 24, 2008 hmmm i think you should be supportive, yet strong, tell her that she needs to do what her parents say and that you still really like her and that once she kicks this again you can be together -- Posted by Anonymous at 12:17 am on Sep. 24, 2008 Quote: from PS2luvr at 12:15 am on Sep. 24, 2008 hmmm i think you should be supportive, yet strong, tell her that she needs to do what her parents say and that you still really like her and that once she kicks this again you can be together that's basically the conversation we had today, so that's good. it looks like i'm basically on the right track, thanks for all your advice, it means a lot to me. -- Posted by miimii at 7:33 am on Sep. 24, 2008 Why aren't you allowed to see her? -- Posted by LittleBombs at 12:59 pm on Sep. 24, 2008 I think give her space, and don't act like her bf. Just let her know that you care and that you are willing to wait for her. And give her encouragement. I think ignoring her comletely would be a bad idea. Just act as her friend for now. =) -- Posted by Leah Louise at 4:32 am on Sep. 25, 2008 Anorexia is a mental disorder, if she did not sort out why she first became anorexic she never will usually people become anorexic because of people controlling there lives which her parents are doing at the moment and she controls the one thing she can by controlling what she eats. its a disease dont dump her cause she cant help it. -- Posted by miimii at 2:46 pm on Sep. 25, 2008 Quote: from PwittyBbe at 4:32 am on Sep. 25, 2008 Anorexia is a mental disorder, if she did not sort out why she first became anorexic she never will usually people become anorexic because of people controlling there lives which her parents are doing at the moment   and she controls the one thing she can by controlling what she eats.   its a disease dont dump her cause she cant help it. "dont dump her". Its not like anorexia is just hard for the person that has the disease. -- Posted by whrocky5092 at 5:05 pm on Sep. 25, 2008 if ur not over 21 then u falling in love is bullshit just had to say it. On topic if u could try to help her and make her feel better that would be the best thing. I know anorexia is a mental disorder and takes a while to recover out of but u just need that special someone and u might be that special someone to her