-- Posted by I heart nubs at 10:02 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 Every night I become deadly depressed. I contemplate shooting myself. But I constantly reject that thought. I am still trying to convince myself with each depressed night that hits me. And I don't think I even have a reason, or a valid one at that. I don't know how to win. It could be that I'm extremely indecisive about everything I do in life. It could be that every decision I make always seems to be the wrong one. It could be that I can't see myself ever being satisfied in life and reaching a goal. It could be that I don't even know what I wanna do with my life. It could be that I'm working a dead end minimum wage job and can't seem to escape to a better place. It could be that the only way I could get love was to buy a prostitute. It could be that I'm just such a pathetic person. Such an angry, lonely, cold person. Everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. And I'm so lonely and I don't think I'll ever find love. I'm so sick of feeling this way that I just really want it to end. Maybe I'm just emotionally imbalanced. Maybe it's something that could be fixed with medicine. Even if, I can't explain to anyone how I feel. There is no way to explain it. It just feels like there is no life left in me. -- Posted by twoifbysea at 10:03 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 If this just happens at night, maybe you should sleep at night, like most people who aren't depressed. Some regular physical get-me-sweaty exercise would help too. It releases endorphins which will make you feel much better. -- Posted by The Immortal Lie at 10:03 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 Nighttime is the absoloute worst my darling. It's horrible. -- Posted by Popcorn Butter at 10:03 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 If it's a night thing, it's probably because you're tired and have been at the computer for too long.  Find something else to do or sleep. -- Posted by 911teen org at 10:09 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 i think u should contact me via personal msg -- Posted by 911teen org at 10:16 pm on Sep. 28, 2008 if ur a kind hearted person find a passion and get involved with something, then u wont hate ur self, let love find u dont be hard hell bent on it and the perfect girl will fall in ur arms! sit down and look at ur life where its going and wat mistakes ur doing, if u see urself from someone elses POV then maybe u can figure out why u make mistakes and fuck up....   lifes full of obsticles and troubles... i myself was homeless alot in my life and im still young, 25, and now look at me, im living on my own and head of a business!! u need to chose ur friends wisely and judge things accordingly! maybe some anti depressants will help id recommend effexor which holds a good record in the depression field! find a close friend, mentor, or adult or crisis counsler you can turn too for help, suicide is a cop out and a reason you shouldnt be thinking!!! idk how old u r but u seem young! live life to its fullest and make the best of everything u have, even if u work a minimal wage job!!