-- Posted by Lulamae at 12:48 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Yes, people, I've been cynical..and a number of you have been asking me why...and all of you seem to be too lazy to go through my old topics...so, I'm going to copy/paste this in the forums now. I'm done with pasting it to people who randomly ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you," just to shock them. Yes, that really happened to me. No, I did not go to the police. No, I'm not planning on going to the police. Well, we were together for a while and...I told my mother that I'd be going to the movies with him, but I actually went to his house. Nobody was home, we started watching TV, he started to undress me, started to touch me...and then I didn't want to anymore, I felt extremely uncomfortable. He didn't stop. I repeated myself over and over again...got louder and louder...he pressed his hand over my mouth. I bit down on his hand...he slapped me...then hit me a bit harder. I tried to scramble up, but he pushed me down on the ground...I tried to get up, but he twisted my arm, he slammed my head against the coffee table...I felt the blood running down my face. I tried to hit him, he kicked me with his boots. every part of my body hurt. He made me get down on my knees and pushed my face onto my naked lap. I didn't try to get up, even when he left to go to the kitchen. He came back with a potato peeler, I laughed at him, asked him if he was planning on fixing up thanksgiving dinner. He just smiled...pushed my head back into my lap and peeled the skin of my spine with the potato peeler. Agony, real agony. I screamed. He made me sit up on my knees, he pushed the blade of the potato peeler to my back while making me perform oral sex on him...then he kept hitting me...I fell into unconsciousness and woke up in my room...covered in bruises and blood. Blood between my legs, every where. I don't know how I got home. For the next 3 months until I moved he continued to try to find reasons to torment me, he'd me if my belt didn't match my shoes, he made me call him my master. He humiliated me...and then we moved back to Germany. That entire time my parents didn't find out. I have the honor of dreaming that over and over again. And I've been doing that for 2 years. I won't stop reliving it. i have panic attacks, I faint, I have nightmares, day dreams, and my psychiatrist thinks it may be best to make me go into intensive care for a few months. which basically means a mental hospital. -- Posted by mo money17 at 12:52 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 That's fucked up man. But I have no sympathy for you. You let him get away with it, and that's your fault. -- Posted by Lulamae at 12:53 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from mo money17 at 8:52 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 That's fucked up man. But I have no sympathy for you. You let him get away with it, and that's your fault. Heartless bitch -- Posted by Amelle at 12:56 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 This is a different guy to your boyfriend you've been with for 2 years right? -- Posted by Lulamae at 12:57 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from Amelle at 9:56 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 This is a different guy to your boyfriend you've been with for 2 years right? Note how it says I left the country. So, obviously. -- Posted by Vbby at 12:57 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 He has most likely done that to other girls, and will do it to more. Unless you tell someone about him. Write it in a notebook and mail the notebook to your old school, dont put a return address. -- Posted by Lulamae at 12:59 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from Vbby at 9:57 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 He has most likely done that to other girls, and will do it to more. Unless you tell someone about him. Write it in a notebook and mail the notebook to your old school, dont put a return address. This is the one time in my life when I want to be selfish. I want to forget about it. I don't want to tell the police. I don't care what happens to him. I don't think he'll do it to anyone else. I was his one time experiment. -- Posted by SAMMYJS99 at 1:00 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from Lulamae at 3:53 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from mo money17 at 9:52 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 That's fucked up man.    But I have no sympathy for you. You let him get away with it, and that's your fault. Good to know. what u mean he's heartless??? its her fault that she let him do it to her. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU??? let it happen to you - THEN we will see who will cry. -- Posted by Lulamae at 1:00 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from SAMMYJS99 if u had even one-quater of a brain u would have ran "like a bat out of hell". Not how it says I tried to run. When a person twice your size doesn't want you to run, you can't. -- Posted by ibanez at 1:01 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 if anybody did that to me id make them pay. dearly. -- Posted by SAMMYJS99 at 1:02 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Lulamae, JUST SO THAT WE ALL KNOW:: in your pics, the boyfriend that u are with now, he is not the 1 that did all of this to you, correct???????? -- Posted by Lulamae at 1:04 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from SAMMYJS99 at 10:02 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Lulamae, JUST SO THAT WE ALL KNOW:: in your pics, the boyfriend that u are with now, he is not the 1 that did all of this to you, correct???????? Again, notice how I said that I left the country after all of this happened, so obviously, no he is a different man. -- Posted by Natsy at 1:11 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 if it would help, surely the hospital would be worth it? -- Posted by SAMMYJS99 at 1:14 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from Lulamae at 4:04 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Quote: from SAMMYJS99 at 10:02 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Lulamae,    JUST SO THAT WE ALL KNOW::    in your pics, the boyfriend that u are with now, he is not the 1 that did all of this to you, correct???????? Again, notice how I said that I left the country after all of this happened, so obviously, no he is a different man. oops!! ok. I fail!! i forgot that u said that. sorry. -- Posted by Rip0utMyEyes at 1:46 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Uh, why didn't you tell anyone? -- Posted by IndyStarr at 4:48 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 hmmm. I'm not heartless and I hope I'm not a bitch either. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry it happened and that you have to relive it all the time. there was nothing you could do. have you talked to your b/f about this?   -- Posted by Erin15 at 4:52 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 Wow. I am sorry. -- Posted by handsfree at 8:31 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 That's fucked up -- Posted by circa at 8:50 pm on Oct. 1, 2008 To be able to tell that story displays a level of character that most people never realize (or develop), and as a result, I respect you in ways you'll never know. That would be an absolutely agonizing experience, and I hope you are never forced to go through anything that awful again. Stay strong, girl, you're absolutely incredible.