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-- Posted by Chiefette at 8:19 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
I use to be quite good at writing poetry, but lately, this is the best I can come up with. I know it's not good, and no, I'm not looking for you to disagree with me, I just want to share anyway.
Pollen slowly flutters, from the softly swaying flowers.
The rhythm of the wind, seems to breathe out my desires.
Gentle beating of my heart seems to set it's pace,
As lovely little memories slowly trickle into place. A song breathes within my soul, that only the earth can hear
Dew hangs off of a low branch, mocking my last tears
The twinkle in your eye shines brighter than the stars
A company of roses mend up my broken heart. A pond covered in lily pads, ripples so silently
Mesmerizing butterflies drift past, oh so lazily
Reminding me of the things that I love the most
Sadly, the things my heart shall never host.
-- Posted by Yahtzee at 8:20 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
Brilliant. 10/10 :D
-- Posted by 4irate at 8:21 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
I actually liked it it gave a good visual image.
But maybe your just not inspired anymore..
-- Posted by domesticviolence at 8:21 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
i loved it the only thing is the line that ended with heart just didnt feel right when I said it
-- Posted by Chiefette at 8:25 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
Thanks, really and domestic, I feel that way about a few of the lines. They just don't feel right. I changed the last line. I think it works a little better. I do however agree. I don't know where my inspiration has gone. I have been working on this poem, revising and such for quite some time now.
-- Posted by Yahtzee at 8:28 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
a hint of advice theres inspiration around every corner in life. You'll be able to write poetry again trust me :D
-- Posted by SilverDragon1Wings at 8:35 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
Oftentimes authors don't like their own work. Many popular, well known authors had great stories sitting in a dust pile on their desk, until one day it was discovered. Stephen King is a good example. I think it was the work Misery that he threw in the garbage, and one day his wife found it, read it, and salvaged the book, telling him to sell it. The Red Hot Chili Peppers is another good example. Anthony Keidis was getting rid of his poem Under The Bridge one day, when their uhm...producer or somebody found it, and had him read it in front of the band. Then the band members started playing instruments to the poem and viola. Anyway....I loved the poem, it had great imagery and flowed very nicely. I find, when it's hard to think up something to write, just ... write. It sound stupid, but it works. Most of my work comes from just random scribblings of silly little emotional poems and stories. So maybe that will help with your inspiration and help you to get motivated about your work.
-- Posted by Chiefette at 8:41 pm on Oct. 9, 2008
Thanks, I don't think I can come close to being compared to any of those people, but I get your point. I use to be able to just write. It doesn't just come anymore.
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