-- Posted by belizabeth at 7:27 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Right now I feel And know I am a huge mess. I'm such a poseur I even don't know who or what I am. I pretend so much, my life is one huge fantasy. It's not funny right now, all this is too real and it scares me. I can't believe I let myself be so many different things and still one thing. To me it seems like everything is crashing and burning but really all is fine but me. I'm the one who is crashing and burning inside. I feel so confused and screwed up beyond repair. I know I lie so much it's not funny and most of my lies are told to my parents. They have no clue how wild and crazy of a girl I truly am. Just thinking about all of this sickens myself. I'm kinda sickened at the thought how much my parents have no clue how I am and still they trust me. Like what do I have to do spell it out for them! uggh! I thought my actions would speak for me but they obviously don't pay attention at all. I've tried telling them these things but they don't listen. Right now as it stands my parents don't know I'm daiting my current bf Tony. They don't know I snuck out all of the summer of 07. They don't know I dated my ex's Micah, John, or Timmy. They don't know I'm not a virgin. They don't know I've had sex with John and Timmy. They don't know John was my first. They don't know me and Amathee are still friends. The list goes on and on and for crying out loud they shoud know these things because I'm homeschooled. What more do I have to do? -- Posted by Violently Happy at 7:31 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Why the fuck do you want your parents to know all that stuff? -- Posted by belizabeth at 7:32 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Well typically we have an open relashioship but uggh I just want them to know. -- Posted by Violently Happy at 7:35 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Quote: from belizabeth at 10:32 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Well typically we have an open relashioship but uggh I just want them to know. Why? What do you want to happen? -- Posted by belizabeth at 7:36 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 I want to be punished for all my wrong doings. -- Posted by Violently Happy at 7:59 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 Quote: from belizabeth at 10:36 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 I want to be punished for all my wrong doings. Masochistic huh? -- Posted by belizabeth at 8:00 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 I guess.