-- Posted by hornydude1992 at 12:34 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 I'm in confirmation at my church. I have been doing it for 3 years. I have 1 more thing 2 do and I'm getting confirmed on Nov 30. I don't see a point in finishing and have told my parents. The last thing I need 2 do is volunteer at a nursing home. I have tried throwing away the papers but my mom keeps taking them out of the garbage. I feel like I should be able to make my own decision about this. I already told her I plan on not going 2 church after this. Boy Scouts is more important. How do I get out of finishing the confirmation? -- Posted by MXfreak at 12:34 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 that sucks -- Posted by EmileeM14 at 12:35 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 shred the papers damnit lol -- Posted by Aliboo at 12:35 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 why dont you just finish not a big deal. -- Posted by Innuendo Girl at 12:35 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 What's the confirmation for? Catholicism? -- Posted by grinzbie at 12:36 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 Dont take part in the service. Tell the priest or whatever that you are not ready....they cant MAKE you get confirmed it is a religious bod with you and God not them -- Posted by switchfoot52 at 12:44 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 you should get confirmed. nothings wrong with helping at the nursing home and if u dont want to do that then just get confirmed and refuse to leave the house to go to the nursing home and if ur really against getting confirmed then just refused to leave the house to go to the class. run away and hide and refuse to get in the car. -- Posted by erika crystalx3 at 12:51 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 shred them, -- Posted by ampamp at 4:01 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 So don't do it, fuck -- Posted by Shogun villimax at 5:13 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 What the heck is this about? -- Posted by matthewlovelady at 7:08 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 Yeah try shredding the papers, you're mom can't do anything then... unless she get's new ones... but then just do it again until she gives up. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 5:20 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from hornydude1992 at 3:34 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 I'm in confirmation at my church. I have been doing it for 3 years. I have 1 more thing 2 do and I'm getting confirmed on Nov 30. I don't see a point in finishing and have told my parents. The last thing I need 2 do is volunteer at a nursing home. I have tried throwing away the papers but my mom keeps taking them out of the garbage. I feel like I should be able to make my own decision about this. I already told her I plan on not going 2 church after this. Boy Scouts is more important. How do I get out of finishing the confirmation? You don't. You're under the age of eighteen and still living with your parents; they can force you to go to your confirmation and you can't really do a thing about it, as it's not causing you any real harm. Also, a point that Boy Scouts have a tendency to do nice things like visit nursing homes as well, so if you're having that much of a problem with nursing home visits, you might want to quit Boy Scouts, too. -- Posted by osmoticdespair at 8:46 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Maybe approach them in a more diplomatic fashion, explain to them politely and calmly that you do not agree with what you are being asked to do, explain why, be willing to listen to counterarguments even if they are expressed themselves in an undiplomatic fashion and express openess to reconsidering your decision at a later date. Explain that by forcing you to engage in a rite that you do not presently believe in they are in effect driving you further from your church and that you need space and time to think about it. Don't be whiny, don't be disrespectful, don't be stubborn, don't allow resentment to get in the way of communication. And for good measure, volunteer anyway to show that it's not laziness or belligerence that is the cause of your choice but genuine concerns about being expected to profess a faith you don't hold. -- Posted by osmoticdespair at 8:53 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 1:20 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 as it's not causing you any real harm. Technically if he is confirmed and not in a state of grace (pretty sure this is true for anglicans and catholics, don't know what the others say) then he is committing sacrilege, which at worst is very harmful and at best is disrespectful. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 10:06 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from osmoticdespair at 11:53 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 1:20 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 as it's not causing you any real harm. Technically if he is confirmed and not in a state of grace (pretty sure this is true for anglicans and catholics, don't know what the others say) then he is committing sacrilege, which at worst is very harmful and at best is disrespectful. Which means what to him if he doesn't actually believe it? -- Posted by King Kong at 11:03 am on Oct. 24, 2008 just do it, so you have not wasted 3 years -- Posted by osmoticdespair at 11:54 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 6:06 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from osmoticdespair at 11:53 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 1:20 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 as it's not causing you any real harm. Technically if he is confirmed and not in a state of grace (pretty sure this is true for anglicans and catholics, don't know what the others say) then he is committing sacrilege, which at worst is very harmful and at best is disrespectful. Which means what to him if he doesn't actually believe it? 1) Doesn't matter if he believes it or not, its still not a good thing to do (or risk doing). 2) Note I said "at best disrespectful". -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 11:57 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from osmoticdespair at 2:54 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 1) Doesn't matter if he believes it or not, its still not a good thing to do (or risk doing). 2) Note I said "at best disrespectful". Thing is, that's not going to hold up in a court of law, which is what I was getting at...if your parents are harming you in a way that most courts would find reprehensible, you've got an argument against doing what they're asking you to do. If they're asking you to take a religious step that you don't necessarily believe in but is not otherwise physically or mentally harmful, the courts will laugh if you try to bring it up. -- Posted by osmoticdespair at 12:11 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from exceedinglyrare at 7:57 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from osmoticdespair at 2:54 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 1) Doesn't matter if he believes it or not, its still not a good thing to do (or risk doing).    2) Note I said "at best disrespectful". Thing is, that's not going to hold up in a court of law, which is what I was getting at...if your parents are harming you in a way that most courts would find reprehensible, you've got an argument against doing what they're asking you to do. If they're asking you to take a religious step that you don't necessarily believe in but is not otherwise physically or mentally harmful, the courts will laugh if you try to bring it up. I'm pretty sure this is not the kind of situation that would ever be involved in a court of law. Think of it this way, if he stated to the church that he didn't believe, his parents were forcing him to come and that in order to avoid degrading the sacrament he kindly requests that he may be prevented from having it, I think most would probably accept that, and I am pretty sure that in a court of law just because his parent's wanted him confirmed and he refused to participate in that the courts would not be able to force him - although within the bounds of the law he would of course be subject to whatever penalty his parents deemed fit, in that sure they can do what they want, but they can't force him to behave as though he believes in something he doesn't even if its within their rights to punish him (although not necessarily a wise thing to do) for not believing it. -- Posted by exceedinglyrare at 12:15 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 If that's the way he wants to approach it, sure, it's a better step than just doing it to keep the peace; generally speaking, though, someone with the handle "hornydude1992" isn't looking for a mature, calm and rational way out. Besides which, his parents absolutely can force him to go through with confirmation, as he is a minor. If they don't accept that he doesn't want to "undermine the sacredness" or something along those lines (any parent who would buy that line, btw, is out of their fool mind), throwing a tantrum about it or doing anything else will only make the situation worse. Better to just get it over with. -- Posted by TRUCUBANDYME305 at 6:10 pm on Oct. 27, 2008 Just don't do it. Tell them that confermation should be done only if you want to and if you feel it and theres no point in doing it because you don't feel it in your heart.