-- Posted by Anonymous at 7:30 am on Oct. 24, 2008 ok, so i met my bf on the internet like a year and a half ago. we met up in january for the first time, and it's all been great. this summer we were together for weeks at a time, and started 'having sex'... however, this sex is not all that it should be. i'm really fucking embarrassed about it all. i have no idea what i'm doing and i'm petrified of doing something wrong.  i'm scared of initiating almost anything because i'm afraid i'll be shiiiiiiit at it. what can i do to get over this?? oh also: both virgins prior to this relationship (which OBVIOUSLY doesnt help because neither of us has any clue, really), and he is at uni a few hundred miles away now so we only really get to see each other once a month, ergo practicing extensively isn't really an option. any advice will be appreciated...   -- Posted by Rollo Tomasi at 7:31 am on Oct. 24, 2008 just say "hey, tell me if you'd like me to do something different during sex to make it better and i will do the same" and then the problem will solve itself -- Posted by Hoebag at 7:31 am on Oct. 24, 2008 'having sex' lmao -- Posted by Rollo Tomasi at 7:32 am on Oct. 24, 2008 and if you can't do that much then stop having sex and work on your crippling anxiety -- Posted by Chiefette at 7:33 am on Oct. 24, 2008 It doesn't sound like you are/were ready for sex.  Perhaps you should wait a little longer, until you become more comfortable with him. -- Posted by gronk at 7:35 am on Oct. 24, 2008 As a general rule id say sex ruins relationships longevity and fullfilment. People are so keen to ramp things up physically, before they really know the person. Its almost as if they are trying to forge a connection when there isnt really on there. -- Posted by Natsy at 7:39 am on Oct. 24, 2008 have a shot of vodka or something beforehand. just to loosen you up a bit lol xx -- Posted by zluvsanime at 7:41 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from gronk at 7:35 am on Oct. 24, 2008 As a general rule id say sex ruins relationships longevity and fullfilment. People are so keen to ramp things up physically, before they really know the person. Its almost as if they are trying to forge a connection when there isnt really on there. lol wat?????????? did u have sex that ruined a relationship cuz i know it as a general rule that it strengthens relationships!!! -- Posted by hiddenfromlove91 at 7:42 am on Oct. 24, 2008 don't worry about it. if he was a virgin prior too then why should it matter because he's just as inexperienced as you are? -- Posted by gronk at 7:46 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from zluvsanime at 12:41 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from gronk at 7:35 am on Oct. 24, 2008 As a general rule id say sex ruins relationships longevity and fullfilment. People are so keen to ramp things up physically, before they really know the person. Its almost as if they are trying to forge a connection when there isnt really on there.     lol wat?????????? did u have sex that ruined a relationship cuz i know it as a general rule that it strengthens relationships!!! I was going out with a girl for about 6 months, and then we had sex, and afterwards, and while it felt good it wasnt fullfilling. We were having heaps of fun before hand and afterwards, it made things too intense. We were getting too close, I was basically worshipping her -- Posted by gronk at 8:11 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Ok I'll admit I didnt read your post fully until just then. However, now having thought about it heres my advice. A long distance relationship over a few hundred miles where you hardly get to see each other, meeting on the internet doenst have good odds of success. However if you really want to make it work. Save sex for later, you dont get to see him all that much, so try and do fun things with him, get to know him who he really is. Get to know his famil and friends -- Posted by Anonymous at 9:49 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from Trashed at 7:31 am on Oct. 24, 2008 'having sex' lmao yeah it goes in inverted commas because it's a gigantic fucking failure. i'm glad you fidn it as funny as i do though   -- Posted by Anonymous at 9:50 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from Rollo Tomasi at 7:32 am on Oct. 24, 2008 and if you can't do that much then stop having sex and work on your crippling anxiety this may well be a very good option -- Posted by Anonymous at 9:53 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Quote: from gronk at 8:11 am on Oct. 24, 2008 Ok I'll admit I didnt read your post fully until just then.   However, now having thought about it heres my advice.   A long distance relationship over a few hundred miles where you hardly get to see each other, meeting on the internet doenst have good odds of success. However if you really want to make it work. Save sex for later, you dont get to see him all that much, so try and do fun things with him, get to know him who he really is. Get to know his famil and friends it's going to work. i love and trust him. i just can't get over this feeling of embarrassment during sex. i suppose that will come in time and i guess putting less emphasis on that aspect of the relationship might help.