-- Posted by Anonymous at 1:44 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Lately it has been tough. I do not know what to do. Maybe if someone just understood... Every morning I lie awake, rolled over with my eyes shut, just so Gina doesn't know I'm sad. I make sure when I leave the room, I'm happy and I'm smiling, just so no one knows what lies beneath. I'm not that sad because of Rich, but I'm sad because of everything else. I'm stressed and I'm losing sight of the end. What does this life have in store for me? And how can I get to it? When I'm too depressed to get out of bed most days. To all of you men who think you can have me just by attempting to wine and dine me, think again because that proves nothing to me. How about absolute devotion? Eyes that never stray for a moment? A heart thats unafraid to love fully? What has happened to the meaning of true love? I do not want to be here anymore. This place is not where I'm meant to me. I feel so out of place in my own life. My teachers are slowly gaining faith in me again, and I won't let myself prove them wrong this time. For once, I'd love to hear "I'm proud of you..." I wish my Dad just loved me. I pretend it has no affect on me that the man has never once said "I love you" or "I'm Sorry" in my entire life. Then when he calls my friends to try and get in touch with them he'll say "I'm Sorry for disturbing you," and I can't help but feel jealous. They've barely even met him and he's already being kind. I've lived in his life for 18 years and not once has he shown love... I just wish I had a Daddy who loved me, too. I'm trying to be strong in life. I'm trying to think good things are waiting up ahead. But it's hard when my life is crumbling piece by piece. I'm anonymous because I'm ashamed of the way I'm feeling. I just need to feel loved for once. -- Posted by GongShow at 1:52 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Man I wish you wouldnt bitch and complain so much.  You might be happier. Negative Nancy. -- Posted by Anonymous at 1:53 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from GongShow at 4:52 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Man I wish you wouldnt bitch and complain so much. You might be happier. Negative Nancy. thank you, darling. that made me feel oh-so-peachy inside! =] -- Posted by iamgodzilla at 1:53 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from GongShow at 1:52 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Man I wish you wouldnt bitch and complain so much. You might be happier. Negative Nancy. this -- Posted by kakashisensei at 2:07 am on Oct. 25, 2008 agreed, your life isnt hard at all compared to most you suburban whitey, get over your eternal blackness and instead maybe try changing things. Have you ever told your dad that you want him to say I love you more? DURRRRRRRRRR you can start from there -- Posted by Anonymous at 2:15 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from kakashisensei at 5:07 am on Oct. 25, 2008 agreed, your life isnt hard at all compared to most you suburban whitey, get over your eternal blackness and instead maybe try changing things. Have you ever told your dad that you want him to say I love you more? DURRRRRRRRRR you can start from there DUURRR I have. Fuck, everyones allowed to vent once in a while. Shit. Screw you all. Idiots. -- Posted by soldierofjustice3 at 7:43 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Dads arn't meant to show love. They exist only to beat your ass when you fuck up, and give you shitty life lectures on random topics. -- Posted by bg kNIFE at 11:27 pm on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from GongShow at 11:52 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Man I wish you wouldnt bitch and complain so much. You might be happier. Negative Nancy. Couldn't have said this better.