-- Posted by Anonymous at 9:46 am on Oct. 25, 2008 I went to an all-boys high school, and never went out much until senior year. I got myself a girlfriend, and got to 2nd base for the first time in my life with her. I broke up with her before we got any further b/c I knew I didn't want a long-distance relationship (I was going away to college), and I didn't want to have sex with her or something only to break it off soon after. I'm in my third year of college now, and I still haven't gotten past 2nd base. I was so naive during freshman year, and I guess I didn't "take advantage" of the hookup scene. I was too concerned about coming off like a douchebag. And now, I'm really concerned that I'll turn 21 (in early 2009) without having made any sexual progress since high school. I've asked out a couple of girls I liked, because I'm more comfortable in a dating rather than a hooking up scenario, but they both turned me down. I've got a lot of other girls I'm interested in, and I hope to be dating them soon, but what if they all turn me down too? I think I have to start being more sexually aggressive and unapologetic. -- Posted by Public Enemy 69 at 9:48 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Yeah, or become a dick. Girls hate nice guys, as much as they deny it, its the truth. -- Posted by Micus at 9:48 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Hahaha you are unlike the vast majority of guys I know. Go out and get some tang, my friend. -- Posted by rockerpunk at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 nothing wrong with being a virgin...some girls like that....rather then a man whore -- Posted by qi at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Go to a party with some girls you like and drink a lot and you'll end up not a virgin. -- Posted by randomrocks at 9:50 am on Oct. 25, 2008 pm me if you want advice and to talk about it -- Posted by qi at 9:50 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from rockerpunk at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 nothing wrong with being a virgin...some girls like that....rather then a man whore Any girls will say they prefer a man with experience, you don't have to be an STD ridden man-whore to have sexual experience.  top making things up. -- Posted by fedoragirl at 9:51 am on Oct. 25, 2008 There is seriously nothing wrong with being a virgin, even in college.  It's not worth it to loose it to someone you aren't crazy about. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 9:51 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Personally, I don't see anything wrong with that.  My boyfriend was a 21 year old virgin because he also didn't want to have sex with some female that he wasn't going to have a committed relationship with.  It all depends on what you want. I mean, you look back now and think that you should have 'taken advantage' of it.  But if you DID do that back then, you probably would have regretted it... so it wasn't really the wrong choice. If you're ready to be more sexually active now, and you really, at this point, don't care about who you are with.  There are plenty of females that are just interested in hooking up.  So you could make yourself more comfortable with that. Otherwise, if you're looking for a more committed relationship, or just a relationship in general, it's going to take a bit more time.  It all depends on what you want.  If you're just trying to get with a girl into a relationship for sex, then make it clear to the female that you're not interested in something committed.  But if you truly want to be close with that female, it's bound to take more time. I just don't think these things should have a time limit... to each their own, but I just find it strange to say that it's concerning that you're turning such and such age and you still haven't done something. -- Posted by bg kNIFE at 9:53 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Oh.. that is major fail. Get a hooker. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 9:54 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from qi at 9:50 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from rockerpunk at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 nothing wrong with being a virgin...some girls like that....rather then a man whore Any girls will say they prefer a man with experience, you don't have to be an STD ridden man-whore to have sexual experience. top making things up. How can you say they are making something up when they said 'some girls', and you AREN'T making things up when you say 'any girl'. Personally, I was quite happy having my boyfriend being a virgin at the time.  And if for some reason we break up, I would much rather prefer the next person be a virgin than someone that's recently been sleeping with several girls just because. -- Posted by sadnessness at 9:55 am on Oct. 25, 2008 i disagree with what some people on here have said, id rather have a guy without loads of sexual experience because a) it means you will have more respect for me when we do sleep together and b) it means you arent as susceptable to peer pressure as those who (stupidly IMO) lose it at 13 -- Posted by momo4ever at 9:55 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Don't worry about it... Maybe this isn't the advice you are looking for? But just be outgoing... stay nice! Don't become a jerk! Hopefull you will find a girl that will want to, ya know? -- Posted by qi at 9:56 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from Just Waiting Here at 9:54 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from qi at 9:50 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from rockerpunk at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 nothing wrong with being a virgin...some girls like that....rather then a man whore    Any girls will say they prefer a man with experience, you don't have to be an STD ridden man-whore to have sexual experience.  top making things up. How can you say they are making something up when they said 'some girls', and you AREN'T making things up when you say 'any girl'. Personally, I was quite happy having my boyfriend being a virgin at the time. And if for some reason we break up, I would much rather prefer the next person be a virgin than someone that's recently been sleeping with several girls just because. Look at the topics about it in teen sex, nearly 90% of the girls say they'd rather have a guy with experience and all the rest are virgins themselves.  Plus, my point was also how she said that guys with sexual experience are man-whores. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 10:00 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from qi at 9:56 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Look at the topics about it in teen sex, nearly 90% of the girls say they'd rather have a guy with experience and all the rest are virgins themselves. Plus, my point was also how she said that guys with sexual experience are man-whores. Yes, but you said any girl, which implies all.  The person you quoted said 'some girls'.  And they never said someone with sexual experience was a man whore.  They merely stated that some girls would rather a virgin over a manwhore, without any definition on what a manwhore is. My point is, that ~your~ statement must be false, since I am not included in this 'any girl' statement.  I really could care less about the physical pleasure of sex, and I find the emotional aspect of it much more important. -- Posted by Anonymous at 10:00 am on Oct. 25, 2008 One of my problems is that the social circle I'm in is quite conservative. I don't mean politically, but socially. Very few of them are up for going to campus-wide parties and bars where I assume a lot of the hooking up goes on. Only now have I found some "going-out buddies", and even then, I sometimes find that some weekends are lost because my friends have exams and want to stay in. I love my friends, but I wish they'd be more outgoing. It's my fault too, for not reaching out to different crowds more during freshman year. But it's also the luck of the draw: most people tend to be closest friends with their hallmates, and some halls were more party-hearty than others. Mine wasn't, at least the people I liked. But Halloween is coming up. There's a big party on Friday, and hopefully, I will have enough to courage to make something happen. I don't even want sex; I just want to be able to bring a girl up to my room and just make out all night. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 10:06 am on Oct. 25, 2008 Then go for it.  Like you said, it's really on you.  Just because you didn't do it in your freshman year doesn't mean you still can't do it now (I do realize it would have been easier as a freshman).  Go out to parties, try something new.  If anything, maybe this party will let you find another set of friends that's more outgoing. It's really up to you.  Personally, I like being a pretty boring person, and I hate the idea of partying, and I'm happy with that.  Maybe your fiends are similar to me. And overall, just make sure you don't focus so much on doing things before you're 21 such that you end up doing something you seriously regret later, right? -- Posted by brat4life at 10:55 am on Oct. 25, 2008 sweetie when it's meant to happen it will happen...I didn't have sex until I was 18 and that's because I hadn't meant anybody right until that time....so trust me theres no need to rush...but if you really must then i would say find an easy girl there all over lol -- Posted by TigressaLynnMae at 12:00 pm on Oct. 25, 2008 Girls hate nice guys, as much as they deny it, its the truth. Ha! I much rather a gentleman, than an ass. -- Posted by twilightdancer at 1:12 pm on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from qi at 12:50 pm on Oct. 25, 2008 Quote: from rockerpunk at 9:49 am on Oct. 25, 2008 nothing wrong with being a virgin...some girls like that....rather then a man whore Any girls will say they prefer a man with experience, you don't have to be an STD ridden man-whore to have sexual experience. top making things up. Totally untrue.  Don't make horrible generalizations, please. My bf and I started going out a year ago, during our freshman year of high school.  When I found out he wasn't a virgin, I totally freaked out.  I mean, he doesn't know I was so freaked out, but I was.  I still wish he had been a virgin so we could have experienced everything together, you know?  I was always worrying I wouldn't be able to measure up his past experiences, because I didn't know what the hell I was doing! -- Posted by eternaloptimist at 9:45 pm on Oct. 26, 2008 Hey! I just graduated from college so I think I have a better idea of what the "norm" is for sex and college. First of all, it isn't unusual to find an older guy who's a virgin. I actually know a few guys in their mid-twenties who haven't had sex (and they're not losers). The guys that get laid all the time are usually jerks and part of a certain crowd (frat guys, jocks, student government people, partiers). As stereotypical as that sounds, it's true. The girls they hook up with also tend to be the same (slutty, heavy drinkers, partiers, social climbers). Get out of these groups and you'll find virginity isn't uncommon. Maybe you're looking for girls in the wrong places. Try going to classy places, get your friends to introduce you to someone they think you'd like/vice versa. -- Posted by eternaloptimist at 9:46 pm on Oct. 26, 2008 Also, most girls DO NOT prefer jerks or guys with more experience. You can't speak for the majority of girls. -- Posted by Johnboysfun at 2:24 pm on Oct. 28, 2008 Quote: f   And now, I'm really concerned that I'll turn 21 (in early 2009) without having made any sexual progress since high school. I've asked out a couple of girls I liked, because I'm more comfortable in a dating rather than a hooking up scenario, but they both turned me down. I've got a lot of other girls I'm interested in, and I hope to be dating them soon, but what if they all turn me down too? I think I have to start being more sexually aggressive and unapologetic. I was fortunate in having a girl take me in hand at a young age and show me the ropes so I didn't come off as hesitant or shy. Girls can sense this. You need to find a girl slightly older and experienced and just frankly tell her you want some lessons. I've had several friends who have done this and it worked out well and turned their lives around socially. -- Posted by allieb at 4:08 pm on Jan. 4, 2009 Pleasee don't feel ashamed of this. You sound like an awesome genuinely nice, good guy, which is actually so rare these days. There are way too many douchebags and manwhores out there that are a dime a dozen. Don't give into the pressure. You sound like one of the few guys I would actually have a lot of respect for. It's not true that girls don't like nice guys. In fact, there's nothing more unattractive to me personally than a guy who's arrogant or who is acting like a douche and comes off as a manwhore. I've been asked out and hit on manyy times by guys like that and they rarely get anywhere. I'm a 21 yr old girl in college, when I know a guy values that sort of thing he actually becomes a whole lot more attriactive to me because of that. A lot of girls love guys who are like that, they may just be harder to see sometimes. It may be because they are more shy or less confident,   It really depends on the kind of girl that you want too. I have lots of friends who don't value sex and stuff and just sleep around with whoever happens to be conveinent. They tend to have the attention span of a fruitfly and will forget about a guy and be on to the next one before you know it. What's the value in that though? It's something that you can't take back. You're okay, stick to your guns! you'll be fine..... -- Posted by tranquility7 at 3:22 pm on Oct. 29, 2009 dont worry bro you dont have to rush it man. it ll has to come at the right time and you should be proud of yourself that you still are a vrigin kudos to you bro. let it all happen at t appropriate time otherwise if you rush things, it will all be weird and youll feel dirty/ashamed of what you,ve done.