-- Posted by Uniq0ne at 4:57 am on Nov. 1, 2008 ==None of you have to read this, I just thought I'd post it in hopes some of you are going through this as well, and not just me. Ok... First of all. Friends. I really wouldn't say I've ever had a friend. There were exceptions, (Reyes, Ryan.) But the way I work with people is I only have "buddies." If a person I get along with is around me for a long period of time I hang with them. If they are away from me for a long period of time, I just cut them off. SIMPLE AS THAT. Why am I like that? I don't know really, all I know is that's the way I am. I'm sorry if you think that's messed up. I also like my alone time. ALOT. After the day is over I don't really want to see or do anything with my friends/buddies. Messed up I know, but it's just the way I've always been. Ok... Second. My life. The few months before I graduated I really didn't have a clue about what I was going to do after High School. Here I am now in the same spot. Stuck in ma parents house. I'm not staying here because I wish to stay here. It's because I've been trying to find my true self. I've become a lot more spiritual. And I think about things differently now. I'm always questioning my existence, and what my true purpose in Life is. I feel very peaceful and relaxed about my situation, it's kind of hard to explain. But there is still that thought that is stuck in my mind. Where do I go from here? I could get a job, but I would be struggling to make enough cash to survive. I know that I would need a college degree too live comfortably. Right now the idea of having an entry level job sickens me. What I want to do is get into a good tech college or something and learn more about computer hardware. I build computers, it's REALLY easy for me for some reason, so heck why not take advantage of that and look for a career related to that right? And then there's music. Music is like my vision, without it I would be lost. It really helps me think about the important things in life and get me back on track (all depending on what I'm listening too of course. Right now it's Magnet ^ ^.) As for music, I would love to get into the music business but right now I don't really know what I could do; I can't make the music myself. I'm not much of a musician. I just love listening to it and talking about it really. I love this more than putting computer's together that's for damn sure. Ok... Third. My worst enemy. Myself. Ok I'll be real honest here. I'm a lazy, slow thinking bastard. Ok that was a bit harsh but... what I'm trying to say is I just take way to damn long to act on decisions. It's like I need a kick in the ass to get moving or something. I see where I want to be, but nothings happening. I think this is my last obstacle. Getting myself out of the house and going back to school. I need to do something with my life. The longer I sit here in this house, the harder it's going to be to get myself back out there. Well my mind is running blank right now... So yeah! Here I am. All alone. Living. Happy. Just waiting for a spark to get me going again. I just hope I light back up soon... REAL soon... -- Posted by Catacomb at 4:59 am on Nov. 1, 2008 Quote: from Uniq0ne at 10:57 pm on Nov. 1, 2008 Third. My worst enemy. Myself. Ok I'll be real honest here. I'm a lazy, slow thinking bastard. Ok that was a bit harsh but... honestly not harsh enough -- Posted by freakinAWESOME at 8:23 am on Nov. 8, 2008 well there is nothing that we can say to change your mind... you must really not care about what happens to you... if you did you would actually stand up starting making a difference instead of just sitting around... you are the only one that can make you do something...so only you can make change...