-- Posted by OverTheAir at 11:21 am on Nov. 6, 2008 I'm like..90% sure. I'm not going to go through all the examples.. I know she wants to talk to us about it... she'll randomly say things like "we need to have a roommate talk soon.. like a really big talk.." generally when the topic of food or being "fat" comes up. We're not dumb, we know what's going on. It's just that, when she does tell us.. I really have no clue what to say to her, or how to act. I've dealt with this a little by myself but it was something that I got over by myself. Nothing that anyone said helped me, or made me feel any better. My case is probably minuscule to her case anyways. So I guess have any of you deal with somebody close to you that was bulimic/anorexic? Did your words ever actually help? Or if you're a victim or you were a victim what would you want to hear...just basically, what the hell should we all do? -- Posted by KKKay at 11:24 am on Nov. 6, 2008 Well...I don't think theres really anything to say. She has to get through this on her own. -- Posted by Writing4lyf at 11:25 am on Nov. 6, 2008 I'm recovering, and honestly, I really don't think anything you say is going to help her exactly. I think you need to get her professional help, and don't try to take all her problems on yourself, but don't just ignore it either. If you really think she is, sit her down, talk to her, make her talk, and if it's really serious, take her to the ER. If it's not that urgent, make her an appointment with a specialist. -- Posted by OverTheAir at 11:25 am on Nov. 6, 2008 Quote: from KKKay at 2:24 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Well...I don't think theres really anything to say. She has to get through this on her own. Ok well I obviously know that. But she's going to sit down and talk to all of us eventually. What am I supposed to do.. sit there and stare at her? They need some kind of support system and I know her family sucks balls. All she really has is a boyfriend and her roommates. -- Posted by Natsy at 11:27 am on Nov. 6, 2008 a hug? -- Posted by flinchybird at 11:54 am on Nov. 6, 2008 don;t jugde and be there for her. help her to get the support she needs to fight this -- Posted by amiee at 12:42 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 My best friend is bulimic and I've been helping him through it for the past wee while. We've had long discussions about it and he's told me that what helps the most is me just being there. Even though I don't know what to say half the time, he knows he can approach me and that I'll listen, which is what he personally needs. It might be different for your roommate so all I can suggest is that you listen to her and try to work out what she's wanting from you, you know? Or even ask her what she thinks would be best for you guys to do. It is so, so tough not knowing what to do in a situation like this, but I've been told by people with eating disorders that just having someone there - even if they don't fancy a chat, but knowing someone is there - helps.   You could also ask if she wants any help in getting herself some help, perhaps? I did that with my friend and he made it clear he didn't want me to involve anyone else, so I'd honestly respect that if I were you. You probably know yourself that it's something very, very personal and when and if she's ready she'll get help. And you guys can be there to help if that time does come. My friend eventually saw a counselor and I was there every step of the way, sort of in the background because all the steps had to be taken my him and had to be his own decisions. Keep an eye on her. Be there, chat, hug, whatever. But keep and eye on her throughout it all. That's what I had to do with my friend - is still what I do with my friend and, if it ever got to the stage, I'd get him help if need be. That kind of thing. Gosh. I'm sorry. This stuff is so hard and there's so little you can do. But.. well, I really think the little stuff can help the most. -- Posted by Stand Up at 9:12 pm on Nov. 7, 2008 Personally I think that if she tells you something is because she's willing to change and work for it - at least I'd assume that -. That's really good because if she is the one with the initiative that means you guys won't have to punish yourself for seeing her doing all the things she does and not being able to convince her not. My advise would be to tell her: "Tell me how you need me and I'll try to do it". Support and understanding is are the most important things. She will probably just  need people to keep her in track, because even though she might be able to handle it  own her own sometimes, sometimes it will be hard, specially because after a while I assume she really got use to it. Is like re-teaching yourself a whole new way of walking after a car accident but reenacting constantly the car accident. Don't judge her and be a friend. You can't really do much that that. Maybe perhaps try to avoid the body weight and things of that kind talk when you are around her. I hope it goes smoothly. You will probably adapt once you see how she is going to do this. Each person is different so I don't know you kinda just have to go around her and her way of dealing with it. Just don't be too supporting because she needs to carry her own weight in order to not fall again. -- Posted by Micus at 7:42 am on Nov. 8, 2008 My roommate is bulimic as well.. and I've been dealing with my own demons these past days/weeks. We never really talk about it, she's an extremely introverted person. We have a relationship at the point where if she needed to, she knows she can come to me with problems. I'm just standing by and waiting for her to approach me, although I know she probably won't. -- Posted by shibby2 at 5:36 pm on Nov. 8, 2008 Tell her she is beautiful all the time. Thats all we need. Just tell her its a horrible problem and that you want to help her get through this no matter what. I just wish that I had someone to say that. It will help her so much