-- Posted by Anonymous at 7:17 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 I will surely drown in all of this darkness, all this hate.  I hate the way you put me down and make me feel.  I needed you today, but you weren't there for me.  You started a fight over a petty thing, right when I was about to die inside over a disappointment you did not understand.  Fuck you.  Those words don't mean enough.  I don't really hate you, but I hate how you can make me feel.   I'm lost in a world of shadows.  Even my own dreams reflect this in voids of nightmares.  I want this saddness to end, but that is to want to end my own life.  I have been so confused, I do not even know who I love or hate anymore.  Moments are good, but life is bad.  Times are worth laughing about, but my experiences have me crying.  You ave left me in a strange and desolate place, without a map, without direction, without a way out.   Yet you have no idea, because I have never told you. Once i offered up to you the secrets of my heart,  You took me under wing and sheltered me, but only for a day, only for that time, only for a minute.  Then you forgot.  You forgot because my life is a mask.  I smile while underneath I frown.  I try to keep this mask on because even I am afraid of what is hidden underneath.   My mind has wandered away from my control.  My life is not joyful and carefree anymore.  I blame this on you, but I know its not true.  You have given me more happiness than I have ever known. And also more pain. I am lost with no hope for the future.  My values have been corrupted, my thoughts drift into indulgences of mutilations.  Trumpets cry out within me, but all I hear now is the chilling silence of defeat.  Defeat from what? I speak in riddles to myself even.  Perhaps I am afraid that if I write down the truth, it makes it more real.  Or more likely, perhaps I don't know what is within myself.   Alone.  I am ment to be alone.   Please, just let it end.  I want to melt away into the sunset that glimmers atop the rippling waters of the Ocean.   I want out of this cell that has been created from mystery.   No longer do I find myself loving life as I always have before. Why? -- Posted by SunnySky at 7:18 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Another Jesus-freak? -- Posted by MystiqueBeauty16 at 7:19 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Quote: from SunnySky at 10:18 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Another Jesus-freak? It's like a disease! -- Posted by Strife at 7:19 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Earth is limbo -- Posted by SunnySky at 7:19 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Lets Purge the Forum. -- Posted by SunnySky at 7:20 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 Stalin... Stalin... Purge them! -- Posted by Amazingness99 at 7:21 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 I'm sorry you feel this way PM me if you want to talk. -- Posted by JasonGuy at 7:26 pm on Nov. 6, 2008 well, someone just converted to Catharism.