-- Posted by Anonymous at 9:38 am on Nov. 7, 2008 *sorry this is long* My older sister (almost 23) finished her university course in June of this year with a good 2:1 honours). Since then she's been living at home and not been working whatsoever. At first it was fine - we thought she deserved a break from 17 years of education - but now we don't know what to do. She has given up hope of ever finding the career she wants because of fears she won't be taken seriously. This is all due to the fact that she is around 5 feet 4 inches and looks younger than her age. She has a major hang-up about this. She is always I.D'd at clubs and supermarkets and my friends and work colleagues all thought she was around my age (18) or even younger (some people thought she was 15). She feels that since she looks younger than her age she'll never be taken seriously, will always be overlooked for promotion (no matter how good she is at her job) and will always have to put up with the typical response of "Really? 22?". It's now November and all she does it sit and play the Sims. She's learning to drive but this is the only constant factor in her life. She's so down about all of this that she has admitted that she's even considered surgery because she thinks bigger breasts will help her look older and feel more confident. Understandably, since she's become quite a recluse and there's nobody at home all day (my parents both work 40 hours a week and I do near enough that) she is quite attention-seeking. She is always asking for hugs and trying to get attention, and there seems to be no other problems in the world except hers. These problems are usually trivial, like the tv not working, even though the rest of us have more serious things to contemplate. She also confided that now and in her past she's felt as if everybody is leaving her behind - she stayed an extra year at college, my brother is doing a year abroad and is rarely in Britain, i'm leaving in February for 5 months abroad and she has no friends here (all her friends were in Bristol, except one who is now travelling in the East for a few months). It's just becoming irritating because I have my own life and plenty of things I need to do, but she is always there asking for attention. My parents are at a loss as to whether they should take it easy on her and hope she can motivate herself and gain confidence enough to apply for a job, or whether they should be over her shoulder nagging her all the time. Although she is in all day, she rarely does any housework (simple stuff like emptying the dishwasher or the bins) and everything gets left to my Mum to do (I admit I could probably do more too) - but she always has marking or lesson plans or something she could be spending this wasted time on. What can we do? I try to encourage her and give her confidence but nothing is working. She's seeing a councillor now but is still very negative about everything (she says it's doubtful the councilling  will have any effect on her). I'm worried and also irritated by her behaviour now, as are my parents. We don't know how long this will continue. How can we get to the stage where she will apply for jobs? I know these things shouldn't be rushed but it's been over 5 months now. Any help?? Thanks -- Posted by FutileRhetoric at 9:40 am on Nov. 7, 2008 give her tha hugs. -- Posted by HaleyS at 10:11 pm on Nov. 13, 2008 She doesn't know rejection If she hasn't even attempted to go to Job interviews. I think its just an excuse not to get out into the real world.