-- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 12:50 am on Nov. 8, 2008 I currently work at Quizno's, I start my new job at a Nursing Home on Monday, I told my Quizno's boss I can only work 10am-2pm on days he wants me to work, because my Nursing Home job is 2:45pm-11:00pm. Now I have a boyfriend, he works random hours, depending on the day. I want to quit my job at Quizno's after this weekend because I will hardly get to see my boyfriend, I have 2 days off a week from the Nursing Home, and the days I work, I wont be able to see him at all unless I get to his house at midnight and stay the night, but my parents wont allow this. My curfew is 1:00 AM, and my boyfriend lives an hour away so I have to leave at midnight to get home at 1. (I am 20, he is 23.) They say its because I'm the oldest and they need to use me as an example and my sister will want to sleep at her boyfriends if I can sleep at my boyfriend's (her and her boyfriend are both 18, and in college). I tried explaining that me and my sister are different and that we can have different rules, but my parents are going to have different rules for different kids, they have not met my boyfriend yet, but once they do I am hoping they change their minds. I want to make this relationship work, but I fear it won't because we will hardly get to see each other, this is a new relationship too. Short Version: I want to sleep over at my boyfriend's house, but my parents won't let me, because my sister and I need to have the same rules even though I am 2 years older than her, me and my boyfriend are 20 an 23, he has his own house, the only way I can spend a decent amount of time with him is to sleep over at his house, he lives an hour away, I work until 11 at night.   How do you think I can convince my parents to let me sleep over at my boyfriend's? -- Posted by lucid dreams19 at 12:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 I LOVE QUIZNOS! -- Posted by viper09 at 12:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 move in with him -- Posted by HEAD at 12:52 am on Nov. 8, 2008 move in with him -- Posted by IMPALA at 12:52 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from shesallithinkabout at 12:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 I LOVE QUIZNOS! wow. missy..... the only way is to put your mom in the microwave until she appears golden brown. -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 12:52 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from shesallithinkabout at 12:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 I LOVE QUIZNOS! Thank you for helping me with my problem, I really appreciate it. /sarcasm -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from viper09 at 12:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 move in with him Yeah, we haven't even been dating for a week. And last time I moved in with a boyfriend, it was terrible. And my boyfriend now lives in a different state. -- Posted by sicosys at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 ur not a little girl anymore... ur 18+ its time to wear the big girl shoes... what ur parents say dont mean shit anymore -- Posted by HEAD at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 by the way my charmander is so much suter then yours! lol jk fool, lol, lmao, rofl, d-gaf bitches! -- Posted by Niick at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Have a mature discussion with them, and how you're grown up and can make these decisions yourself, and that they're going to have to restrict your sister themselves. It's their job to keep her in line, not yours, you shouldn't be limited because your sister is younger then you. Be calm and prepared for this discussion, make it so it's like she's talking to someone their age. Explain that your boyfriend means a lot to you and you need this freedom to make it work. Just be prepared with what you're going to say. Edit: Oh, a week huh? Might be a bit trickier lol, well explain that you really need this relationship to work right now because it's a nice stress reliever, I'm sure it is. -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from sicosys at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 ur not a little girl anymore... ur 18+ its time to wear the big girl shoes... what ur parents say dont mean shit anymore Yeah, it does if I want a place to live. And not be fucking homeless, again. -- Posted by IMPALA at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Guys.. She lives just into another state (I have known her since the 2nd grade) and her boyfriend lives 40-60 miles away from her. -- Posted by IMPALA at 12:54 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from HEAD at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 by the way my charmander is so much suter then yours! lol jk fool, lol, lmao, rofl,   d-gaf bitches! Shut the fuck up you blithering idiot. -- Posted by IMPALA at 12:54 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from littlenicky40 at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Have a mature discussion with them, and how you're grown up and can make these decisions yourself, and that they're going to have to restrict your sister themselves. It's their job to keep her in line, not yours, you shouldn't be limited because your sister is younger then you. Be calm and prepared for this discussion, make it so it's like she's talking to someone their age. Explain that your boyfriend means a lot to you and you need this freedom to make it work. Just be prepared with what you're going to say. Edit: Oh, a week huh? Might be a bit trickier lol, well explain that you really need this relationship to work right now because it's a nice stress reliever, I'm sure it is. this -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 12:55 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from littlenicky40 at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Have a mature discussion with them, and how you're grown up and can make these decisions yourself, and that they're going to have to restrict your sister themselves. It's their job to keep her in line, not yours, you shouldn't be limited because your sister is younger then you. Be calm and prepared for this discussion, make it so it's like she's talking to someone their age. Explain that your boyfriend means a lot to you and you need this freedom to make it work. Just be prepared with what you're going to say. I've tried having a mature discussion with them, it dosen't work, I get treated like a child. And I know the main thing is because my sister will bitch that it's not fair to her. But life isn't fair. We are different people, and I know my parents expect more from her. -- Posted by Niick at 12:59 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from misssmadejavuu at 3:55 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from littlenicky40 at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Have a mature discussion with them, and how you're grown up and can make these decisions yourself, and that they're going to have to restrict your sister themselves. It's their job to keep her in line, not yours, you shouldn't be limited because your sister is younger then you. Be calm and prepared for this discussion, make it so it's like she's talking to someone their age.    Explain that your boyfriend means a lot to you and you need this freedom to make it work. Just be prepared with what you're going to say. I've tried having a mature discussion with them, it dosen't work, I get treated like a child. And I know the main thing is because my sister will bitch that it's not fair to her. But life isn't fair. We are different people, and I know my parents expect more from her. I take it your sister won't listen to reason from you? -- Posted by ilessthanthreeyouu at 1:00 am on Nov. 8, 2008 YOU'RE 20 YEARS OLD. ...That's all. -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 1:03 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from littlenicky40 at 12:59 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from misssmadejavuu at 3:55 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from littlenicky40 at 12:53 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Have a mature discussion with them, and how you're grown up and can make these decisions yourself, and that they're going to have to restrict your sister themselves. It's their job to keep her in line, not yours, you shouldn't be limited because your sister is younger then you. Be calm and prepared for this discussion, make it so it's like she's talking to someone their age.     Explain that your boyfriend means a lot to you and you need this freedom to make it work. Just be prepared with what you're going to say.    I've tried having a mature discussion with them, it dosen't work, I get treated like a child.    And I know the main thing is because my sister will bitch that it's not fair to her.    But life isn't fair.    We are different people, and I know my parents expect more from her.     I take it your sister won't listen to reason from you? Nope, my parents help me out a lot, and they don't help her because she doesn't need the help, while I do. She thinks that everything needs to be the same for everyone, I was able to sleep at my exes before I moved out, and then when I moved back home, things changed. -- Posted by conoris16 at 1:24 am on Nov. 8, 2008 no offence but your 20 and you still have rules, i would say that your parents are a little on the control freak side -- Posted by misssmadejavuu at 1:27 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from conoris16 at 1:24 am on Nov. 8, 2008 no offence but your 20 and you still have rules, i would say that your parents are a little on the control freak side I am the oldest, I have a 18 yr old sister and a 16 yr old brother, they have to use me as the example. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 8:51 am on Nov. 8, 2008 That's a tough situation to be in, and like you said... their house, their rules.  In terms of having a different set of rules... 18 and 20 years old doesn't seem like too big of a difference to me.  I do realize there IS a difference, but I can see why your parents don't want to set up two different sets of rules.  Because really... what would be YOUR reasoning that YOU can sleep over your boyfriends house, but your sister cannot? Your parents also are probably just worried about you sleeping over somewhere else, and that's the reason for the rule.  Whether or not they want you to set a good example, they probably (like many other parents) want to protect you. You've said you've tried talking to them, but if they stand their ground then you either have to live with it, or you can move out.  If you've done it before, moving out isn't so simple, and you really need to have some solid sort of savings to do it. Try talking to them again.  Tell them that you would like them to meet your boyfriend, to see how he is, and then explain that these are the only times you can see him, and that driving around after midnight, after working all day, is not something you want to do.  Explain to them that you want to try and set something up for your future, and that for this reason, you want an alteration on the rule (maybe not every day, but some?) just because you've taken up an extra job. Will it work?  Who knows.  When my mother came to visit, my boyfriend saw me much less than usual.  My mother doesn't like it when people stay late or come home late.  The only time we can see each other during weekdays is late at night, so when she visited, we stopped doing that.  Mind you, I've been living outside my parents house for well over a year now.  It's just a matter of knowing what my parents expect, and I'll uphold to that, even if I don't like it. So it's your call... you either live with it, try to compromise, or move away from it. -- Posted by Just Waiting Here at 8:52 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Quote: from misssmadejavuu at 1:03 am on Nov. 8, 2008 Nope, my parents help me out a lot, and they don't help her because she doesn't need the help, while I do. She thinks that everything needs to be the same for everyone, I was able to sleep at my exes before I moved out, and then when I moved back home, things changed. I was wondering if something like this happened, to be honest.  Have you ever considered you parents don't want you to sleep over your boyfriends house because they are afraid that you will move out again?  I don't know why you moved out the last time, but if it's related... do you think that this might be their real reason? -- Posted by humanivorous at 10:40 pm on Nov. 8, 2008 20 and living with your parents, yes i see your problem. -- Posted by bratalvarado at 12:53 pm on Nov. 9, 2008 i think since you are over 18 you should make your own dissisions and tell your parents that you need to start making your own dississions and you need to go to your boyfriends place on the weekend