-- Posted by helloworld at 12:06 am on Nov. 11, 2008 I just realized again at an after work get together how socially inept I really am. I'm fine until the girl I like shows up and I see just how much I suck at initiating anything. I didn't embarrass myself or anything (part of my ridiculous shyness stems from having tried things years ago and utterly failing in embarrassing ways, so I tend avoid it altogether now), I just don't know what the hell I'm doing and that's why I don't think it'll ever go anywhere. It's not that I can't talk to her or anything (I'm competent enough with what little small talk is even possible in a loud and busy bar), but I really have a tough time with physical cues and flirting and all that. I see how easily others go about it and wonder why I'm missing those skills. And it's funny because I actually tend to like being around people but at the same time I almost feel kind of anti-social. Anyway, I'm pretty much always in a good mood and I don't mope around about this (because who likes a moper), but sometimes I have a little free time to think about these things and it makes me a little sad to think I may never really have anyone. I won't stop working at it but it gets a little frustrating sometimes. Just felt like venting a bit. -- Posted by PS2luvr at 12:17 am on Nov. 11, 2008 hmm no real way to fix this, other than to get up the balls and get over your fears -- Posted by bigdutchman at 12:18 am on Nov. 11, 2008 good luck. only advice anybody can give you is just go for it. and if you're worried about embarrassing yourself remember that sometimes you gotta lose to know how to win. -- Posted by lilxcutie53 at 4:06 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 welcome to my life story, but for a girl... -- Posted by Stellar at 12:34 am on Nov. 15, 2008 Quote: from bigdutchman at 2:18 am on Nov. 11, 2008 sometimes you gotta lose to know how to win. Ah, Aerosmith. Good stuff. -- Posted by helloworld at 12:56 am on Nov. 29, 2008 OK and I see that the club/dance scene doesn't work for me either, particularly not with this girl. She had at least 4-5 guys hovering around her constantly. Even when I got her on the dance floor alone (I can't believe I even did that, dancing is not my thing at all - yes I am awkward like that) it wasn't but 10 seconds until 2 of them showed up and butted in. That was just too ridiculous to me, so I ducked out. I'm not going to compete for her attention like that. I had pretty minimal interactions with her the whole time because I refuse to line up behind a dozen guys for a slice of her attention. But what the hell do you do with a girl like that? She is extremely pretty and though she isn't the least bit arrogant I can't imagine that she doesn't know how pretty she is. And I get that I need to "man up" and ask her out to do something together, but I'm trying to avoid falling into the same hole that I suspect at least several guys at work must have already fallen into with her. I'm really only guessing here but a girl like that has to be rejecting 90+% of the undoubtedly numerous guys who try, so what do I do to not end up in that 90+%? I've resigned myself to really not caring much about the outcome here, but if I'm going to try I'd like to not screw it up if possible. -- Posted by collegiate at 9:50 am on Nov. 29, 2008 I'm in the same type of situation, sort of. I can have a nice fulfilling conversation with a group of friends anytime, but as soon as a new person comes in or even in one on one conversation, it becomes awkward. I hate it, but I'm working on it. If at any point you can give me some tips on how to not be socially awkward message me and I'll do the same.