-- Posted by Anonymous at 10:47 am on Nov. 17, 2008 Anyone else feel that in college its pretty hard to get to know someone well (i.e a member of the opposite sex that is not already part of your immediate group of friends?)  I just find that its hard to find someone other than simply 'hooking up' on the weekend. I just say this because after having broken up with my gf of 3 years (who I met first week of freshman year- so it was a different case)... its hard to meet any girls and get to a level like I did with her... Anyone else experience this? -- Posted by OverTheAir at 10:55 am on Nov. 17, 2008 I totally agree. It's the worst freshmen year, and it slowly gets better, but overall it still sucks. For the most part it feels like nobody wants to settle down now. It makes sense, to be honest I don't want to settle either. This is the time in your life where everyone says we're supposed to not be tied down, and just have fun, because we have the rest of our lives to settle down. Why get to know someone, potentially date them for x years, just to graduate and go in completely different directions? Nobody wants that, nobody wants this extra stress while dealing with school. Sure there are exceptions, there are exceptions to everything. I just find it so common that nobody wants anything past a good friend or a hook up buddy, myself included. It's hard if that's what you're looking for, something more than friends or someone to hook up with. I hear it gets easier as you get older since people tend to calm down from partying and tend to mature even more. It's weird because I'm on the fence...I want to still have my fun, but sometimes you just need something more. Blahh. -- Posted by 2kewl4u2know at 11:01 am on Nov. 17, 2008 I guess I lucked out in not having to try and find someone right now because I'm still with my boyfriend from high school, but I can see it with a lot of people that it's hard to hold on to, or even create a long serious relationship with people in college. Freshman year is especially hard because you are just getting out and want to have fun.  It's not about "finding the right person" for most people.  For most people it's about schoolwork/parties/fun. I think another issue for you at the moment though is you just got out of a long relationship.  It's hard to bounce back from that so quick, especially in that setting.  Maybe for now you should consider just doing what they are and having fun and not worrying about a serious relationship. -- Posted by Colleen35 at 3:34 pm on Nov. 18, 2008 I agree entirely.  There are some 10000 people at my school, and I barely know anyone besides the people I live with.  Even just talking from a making friends perspective, it's difficult to meet anyone, much less finding someone for a relationship. I don't know how to fix this problem, though.  If the school organized events to meet people, everyone would just go in groups of their friends anyway, so it seems that the way the college social construct works, we're stuck with what we have. The best recommendation I have towards meeting people is joining a group that you're at least vaguely interested in.  Maybe you'll be able to find someone you like there.  Good luck, and let me know if you think of a good way of meeting people, I'd love to try it. -- Posted by RoseBeautyMagical416 at 3:54 pm on Nov. 18, 2008 Quote: from 2kewl4u2know at 11:01 am on Nov. 17, 2008 I guess I lucked out in not having to try and find someone right now because I'm still with my boyfriend from high school, but I can see it with a lot of people that it's hard to hold on to, or even create a long serious relationship with people in college. Freshman year is especially hard because you are just getting out and want to have fun. It's not about "finding the right person" for most people. For most people it's about schoolwork/parties/fun. I think another issue for you at the moment though is you just got out of a long relationship. It's hard to bounce back from that so quick, especially in that setting. Maybe for now you should consider just doing what they are and having fun and not worrying about a serious relationship. I am basically agree with this person, you just got out of a long distance relationship.  Its best not to try to find someone. Just let things happen. it usually wrks itself out in the end.