LiveWire Peer Support Network

Printable Version of Topic "bad poem i just wrote"

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--- Short Stories & Poetry (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/forum-11-s-0.html)
---- bad poem i just wrote (http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yeaopeo-support-a.html)


-- Posted by bananawhore at 4:08 pm on Nov. 18, 2008

Life is like a vaccum
Sucks it all away
Opinions
Thoughts
Fun
Happiness
So you have to be
That thing that they call
Optimistic
Damn I hate that word
Being happy is overrated anyways
But sometimes
Its what you really need
Dwell on the things
That make you feel the way
You want to feel.
The things that life
Just couldn't take from you
So all you have to do
Toughen up
Muster up that courage
Look at the glass half full
Or at least a fourth of the way there
If the clichéd optimism
Is a bit too much for you to handle

And all your really doing
Is salvaging lost goods
All your really doing
Is digging through life's vaccume bag.


-- Posted by melanie2anne at 4:09 pm on Nov. 18, 2008

its good but sad :(


-- Posted by Lihiro at 4:09 pm on Nov. 18, 2008

Oh god that was bad you're right.


-- Posted by XsmilygirlX at 4:10 pm on Nov. 18, 2008

It actually good.  It kinda how I feel.


-- Posted by TKDgoneveggie at 4:18 pm on Nov. 18, 2008

that felt a little less like a poem than a frank pessimistic statement
try to play with words a little more
poems are supposed to convey an experience and use that experience to get across your message


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