-- Posted by Anonymous at 10:55 am on Nov. 24, 2008 Ok. Im pretty much in self-recovery mode. (Have tried it many times in the past and always relapse) Anyway, Im recovering from Ednos (basically I restrict, binge, purge, compulsivley eat- so my weight fluctuates) Anyway, So im trying to eat 1200 calories a day (and Im lazy so I dnt exercise). But it feels so weird to eat this amount of calories. Its like its too much of middle ground. Normally I eat alot more, or alot less. Never just "normal". So for lunch today I had a personal pan for about 350 cals and that was 1 1/2 hr. ago. And it feels like since I ate that much in a servings that I should either go binge and eat ALOT more food, or go throw up the 350 cals. It just feels so odd to just eat it and let it digest and then in a couple hours eat another  "normal" meal. This is my second day. Yesterday I had about 1188 cals. And it was okay yesterday. I dont know why I feel like this today. I just want to binge. My last binge was on sunday...and I feel good about making the change yesterday and actually doing pretty good/. Ugh. I dont know how normal people can just eat a meal and be satisfied. Just eat a burger, fries and a coke and then be satisfied, not feel guilty, not want to binge. I just dnt understand and I wish I could be like that. But I never will. I cannot just eat a meal and not feel guilty or feel like binging. I have a "All or Nothing" state of mind and I hate it. Idk. Sorry for this post. I just had to let this out or elser I would have seriously gone to binge already. -- Posted by sadnessness at 11:08 am on Nov. 24, 2008 I know how you feel. I really restrict my eating when i am around other people, or just when i am in school or have a timetable. At the weekend, or when im  home alone, i have massive binges. It sucks :( -- Posted by murphy mcbagel at 11:10 am on Nov. 24, 2008 well if it helps, i'm recovering from a messed up self image sugar addiction and severe stomach problems. basically what feels weird becomes natural, no matter what you issue. -- Posted by Leah Louise at 11:11 am on Nov. 24, 2008 hey if u ever wanna talk PM me =) in a similar situation :) id be glad to help u through things. -- Posted by sunshyne847 at 9:03 pm on Nov. 25, 2008 it gets a lot easier. thats exactly how I felt. Basically all or nothing. But please, keep going. It gets easier and eating more normally gets more normal and easier and it actually becomes satisfactory. And your body and brain responds to a normal amount of food also. Taking that first step is really the hardest though and it takes a while. Try for one week though and then try for 2 and it becomes easier!! I know u can do it babe! u can pm me whenever if u want -- Posted by miNx at 12:56 am on Nov. 26, 2008 same here, but im still NOT ready to recover. IDK why, but I just cant help myself. =( -- Posted by Anonymous at 2:33 pm on Nov. 27, 2008 PwittyBabe :D.....see...its me -- Posted by Leah Louise at 2:33 pm on Nov. 27, 2008 okay haha the other girl is a liar -- Posted by Anonymous at 2:36 pm on Nov. 27, 2008 Quote: from PwittyBbe at 2:33 pm on Nov. 27, 2008 okay haha the other girl is a liar indeed